Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In their promotional campaign, in this present time typically highlight that their goods are upgrade in several way. There are some reasons it is a positive or negative development. My inclination justified in upcoming write-up with valid explanation and relevant examples.

The fundamental reason of inclination is that, in-these-days multinational companies or business firms publish the promotional advertising of their products are newly launched while goods quality and quantity slightly changed when compared to old products of branded companies just swipe the logo or packaging. However, some customer attracted by the packaging and using particular brands for them.

In the contrary it's a positive or negative developments should justified, in these digital era many companies grew in a short time period of their advertisement posted through the online platforms or websites, for instance Instagram, Facebook or twitter has a source of buyers

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 142 words. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. While the prompt asks for reasons why businesses emphasize 'newness' and an opinion on whether this is positive or negative, the response is underdeveloped. The ideas presented—such as companies changing packaging to appear new—are relevant but lack sufficient explanation or supporting examples. The position is not clearly maintained throughout the essay, and the conclusion is entirely missing. To improve, you must expand on your arguments with specific examples and ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed in full.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay shows some attempt at paragraphing, but the logical progression is weak. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is disjointed, and the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the phrase 'In the contrary it's a positive or negative developments should justified'. Referencing is also unclear in several places, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of ideas. To improve, focus on using linking words more naturally and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects back to the main argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often imprecise. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'goods are upgrade in several way' instead of 'upgraded in several ways' and 'My inclination justified in upcoming write-up'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to discuss the topic in depth, relying on repetitive and basic phrasing. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise terminology related to business and marketing, and work on using collocations correctly to express your ideas more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'some customer attracted' instead of 'some customers are attracted', and incorrect sentence structures like 'in these digital era many companies grew'. The use of complex structures is attempted but is consistently faulty, leading to confusion. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb tenses and pluralization, before attempting more complex grammatical structures. Proofreading for basic errors like missing articles and incorrect prepositions is essential.

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