Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. In my opinion, it's a positive development.

Firstly, we discuss about the positive development.

Today, mostly people focused on the own business. And it is essential part of every wealth men. In my opinion, if people wished to become a rich man, it should be trying to introduce his own business. The business is required a new products, because mostly people like that business. In which the products are new and advanced.

For instance, if a people make a glossary shop, this is his own business. This business will grow when owner focus in it and install the new food items daily in his shop. Moreover, the products prices are affordable and have a normal price. Therefore, the customers choice this shop and his shop achieve a high status.

So, business nowadays usually emphasis that their products are new in some way. People or customers also choice those shops that have new and every products. Moreover, if owner of the business doesn't focus on his business, the business doesn't grow. And one day this business business is completely fall down and destroyed. So, business also requires a struggle and afford.

In conclusion, nowadays business is required struggle and focused. If person take interest in the business and then this business can grow. So, the new items and new developments are necessary for to make a successful businessmen. It's a good development and it's a essential part of the every kind of type of business.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by identifying the trend as positive, but the development of ideas is limited and repetitive. The explanation focuses heavily on general business success rather than specifically addressing why businesses emphasize 'newness' in their advertising. The arguments are somewhat circular, focusing on the need for 'struggle' and 'focus' rather than the psychological or competitive reasons behind marketing new products. While the position is clear, the supporting ideas lack depth and specific analysis, resulting in an under-developed response that struggles to fully explore the implications of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion', but they are often applied mechanically or inappropriately, such as 'So, business nowadays usually emphasis...' which does not function well as a transition. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly with pronouns like 'his' and 'this', which makes it difficult to follow the writer's train of thought. The overall structure is present, but the flow between sentences and ideas is frequently disjointed.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, often relying on simple terms like 'business', 'new', and 'good'. There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'wealth men', 'glossary shop' (likely meaning grocery shop), and 'completely fall down and destroyed'. The range is limited, and the writer struggles to express more complex ideas due to a lack of precise terminology. While the meaning is generally understandable, the lack of variety and the frequent errors in word formation and usage restrict the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('mostly people focused', 'customers choice this shop'), incorrect article usage, and awkward phrasing ('the business is required a new products'). Complex structures are rarely attempted, and when they are, they often contain errors that impede clarity. Punctuation is generally functional, but the high frequency of basic grammatical errors significantly impacts the readability of the response.

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