Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In their advertising, businesses in these days usually asked their items are of latest model in anyway.
Basically the people that are involved in any type of business are those who have idea for gaining big profit in it but in danger of getting loss in it they use the advertising process because they know that it can proved to be helpful for them.But this idea can't be helpful for them because the community live in this country know the all works and are not blind. They can see all things and can imagine.
In my opinion, it is negative development for all of them who have this type of think because by using this method they can get a big loss and can generate problems for their own.For Example, if they choose the way of advertising, any other people can be advertise news against him.Therefore, it can be proved very bad for all of them who wanted to advertise the news.
On the other hand, if the businessman do it, it can't be helpful for them because we all of the know by living in this country which product is new and which is old and previously item and they know which item is able to buy and which are not.This skill can be helpful when the people are not have information about this.Therefore, this idea to run business independently is not can be proved right and can gain loss in business and all of the products which they had to sell in market.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt but lacks depth and clarity. While you identify that businesses use advertising to gain profit and express a negative view, the arguments are underdeveloped and repetitive. The explanation of why businesses emphasize 'newness' is vague, and the reasoning for why this is negative—suggesting that competitors will simply advertise against them—is not a logical or standard argument in this context. To improve, you should provide more specific, real-world examples of how marketing strategies influence consumer behavior and explore the nuance of whether 'newness' is genuinely beneficial or misleading for the public.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the progression of ideas is often disjointed and difficult to follow. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate, such as the repetitive use of 'therefore' and 'but'. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to track the subject of your sentences. For example, the phrase 'all of them who have this type of think' is confusing. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and often repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'big', 'good', and 'bad'. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices, such as 'type of think' instead of 'type of thinking' and 'generate problems for their own' instead of 'generate problems for themselves'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas clearly. To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning collocations and more precise academic vocabulary related to business and marketing, rather than relying on simple, everyday language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'businesses... usually asked'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, making them difficult to parse. You rely almost exclusively on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors, such as 'this idea to run business independently is not can be proved right'. A focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement is essential before attempting more complex grammatical forms.
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