Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this dispensation that we are under people in business tend to divise different marketing strategies so as to persuade their target audiences. I largely agree with this as this is coercive marketing which will make clients to support your brand or business and this will incite upward mobility at individual level. Although, this type of marketing dismantle other people's businesses and shun their clients as well.This essay seeks to unravel both advantages and disadvantages this marketing strategy.

It can be noticed that, people in this era are advertising for visibility, personal glory , prestige, power and authority .Which is a good move. For instance, when one has ventured as a new person in market dominated by people with the same products or services that you offer. As a result, there is a feeling of superiority that may aroused within an individual of wanting to be par-excellent at all cost. Especially, those whole are endeavoring be in business. Its a benevolent initiative as it will boost revenue, capital and good image of the business in a certain area. In addition, people will then trust the brand as the marketer had established a good rapport with the client. Hence, propelling a symbiotic relationship between clients and the services or goods being sold.

Nevertheless, this can be a malicious act of perpetrating the market place as it will dwindle the progress of other businesses. On top of that, it can led to the destruction of other business that were flourishing very well as people will start to resist their services or products. Which will then have a negative implications of other people's lives, who were once thriving well in their corperations. To add on, it will change the lifestyle for example whose who became broke will then transfer their children from elite school to rural schools. Hence downwards mobility is being unleashed.

In a nutshell, despite the disadvantages it has in the live of different people doing the same business. This type of market penetration has a way of upgrading people at individual level and allows innovation to thrive very well in various communities. Therefore to a greater extent it brought more good than harm to new.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: why businesses emphasize 'newness' and whether this is positive or negative. However, the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. While you touch upon 'visibility' and 'innovation,' the explanation of why businesses emphasize newness is slightly obscured by non-standard phrasing like 'coercive marketing' and 'upward mobility at individual level.' The position is clear, but the arguments regarding the negative impact on other businesses are somewhat hyperbolic and lack concrete, real-world examples. To improve, ensure that your arguments are more directly linked to the prompt's focus on product advertising rather than general business competition.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'In addition,' 'Nevertheless,' and 'In a nutshell.' However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and sentence structure. Some transitions feel mechanical, and the relationship between ideas is sometimes unclear, such as the sudden shift to discussing the 'downward mobility' of children moving schools. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be improved by ensuring that each sentence builds more naturally upon the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an attempt to use a wide range of vocabulary, including terms like 'dispensation,' 'symbiotic,' and 'perpetrating.' However, there are frequent issues with collocation and word choice. For example, 'divise' (devise), 'dismantle other people's businesses,' and 'malicious act of perpetrating the market place' are either misspelled or used in ways that do not fit the context. While your vocabulary is ambitious, the inaccuracies sometimes impede the precision of your argument. Focus on using words that you are certain of in terms of their standard usage in business contexts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('this can led to,' 'may aroused'), incorrect verb forms ('whose who became broke'), and punctuation errors (missing spaces after periods). These errors are noticeable and occur frequently, though they do not completely prevent the reader from understanding your main points. To reach a higher band, you need to focus on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb tenses and sentence construction, before attempting more complex structures.

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