Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary society, commercial advertisement has become increasingly prevalent. This essay will examine the reason behind this trend and discuss why I believe it is a positive development.

To commence with, the compelling reason behind this trend is that they promote their businesses by different types of promotion. Healthy rivalry among business owner makes them to work harder, which then promotes their products with more advanced way. Although, it provides them with valuable benefit because this attracts a wider customers to purchase their items and to generate more revenue each month. This is a strong strategy that workers applied while initiating their startups. For example, many clothing brands advertise it through billboards or by online by offering a flat 50% discount on their running items, this makes a society to avail this offer immediately, especially women who are influence by reputable brands. Hence, this will make their sales more flourish and prosperous.

From my perspective, I think that it is a positive development as it contributes a economic growth of the country. Moreover, tactics to apply and lift their businesses is a major goal of every entrepreneur. Thinking about a new fashions and promote unique advertising style makes a country well-organized. Because the more society will get advanced, the more companies selling ratios will increase. For instance, strong competition among entrepreneurs makes them to enhance their quality products, in order to sell more articles for the expansion of the economy.Hence, this will aids nation to acquire valuable profits and contribute it in a positive way.

To sum up, companies' owners have a creative mind, so they utilize it in a way to generate a handsome amount by publicizing a product in different techniques. I believe that it is a positive approach as it boosts the financial and social developments of a nation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for emphasizing 'newness' and the evaluation of whether this is positive or negative. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. The explanation of why businesses emphasize newness is repetitive, focusing mainly on 'healthy rivalry' and 'revenue' without exploring the psychological aspect of consumer behavior or the nature of innovation. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments lack depth and specific, well-integrated examples. For instance, the mention of clothing brands and discounts is relevant but does not fully explain why 'newness' specifically is the focus of the advertising. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced analysis of the underlying motivations for this marketing strategy.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'To sum up' are used to guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'To commence with' which is less common in this context. Additionally, there are instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph where the transition from business competition to economic growth feels a bit abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and better referencing to connect ideas more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. You use some relevant terms like 'contemporary society', 'commercial advertisement', and 'entrepreneur', but there are also instances of awkward collocation and word choice, such as 'make their sales more flourish' (should be 'make their sales flourish') and 'selling ratios' (should be 'sales volume'). Some phrases are repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'promote' and 'business'. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and a wider range of academic vocabulary to express your ideas with greater clarity and impact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'makes them to work harder' should be 'makes them work harder'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'contributes a economic growth' should be 'contributes to economic growth'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors, such as missing spaces after periods. While the meaning is usually clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy will be beneficial.

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