Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Currently, using advertisements bussinessmen are promoting that their products are new. While there are a variety of reasons responsible for it, I believe that it is a negative development.

There are several reasons why bussinessmen are using this policy. One possible reason is that they want to attract people to their buy their products. If they can convience people, sells may increase. They will be able to earn a lot of money. Their brand value will increase immensely in the world. So, they can rule the market for the long run. Another possible reason is that there are a lot of factories in the market. So, the competition of staying in the trend is relatively high. As a result, many companies are trying to promote their brand using advertisements to stay in the competition. In my local area, for example, there are hundreds of garments and they are producing distinct products. So, it is quite challenging for them to stay relevant to the customers. Consequently, they are using marketing policy.

I believe that this trend is a negative development. Firstly, there are a huge number of bussinessmen who are only using advertisement for their brands promotion without developing thier products quality. So, people might fall in a trap. they can waste their valuable money to buy a fake product. So, they can lose their money. Therefore, people will not be able to trust in any products. Consequently, some qualityful products will remain unsold and bussinessmen will face a massive loss. Businessmen will lose interest in their business, resulting in a negetive effect on the economy.

To sum up, businessmen should produce quality products. In my opinion, without focusing on the marketing, they should focus on their products quality. If their priducts are qualityful, without any advermisement their products will receive popularity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for emphasizing 'newness' and the writer's opinion on whether this is positive or negative. The position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While the reasons for the trend are explained, the discussion on why it is a 'negative development' relies heavily on the assumption that 'new' products are inherently 'fake' or of low quality, which is a slight over-generalization. To reach a higher band, the arguments could be more nuanced, perhaps discussing the environmental impact of planned obsolescence or the psychological pressure on consumers, rather than focusing solely on the risk of being 'tricked'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices such as 'Another possible reason', 'Consequently', and 'To sum up' are used to guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel repetitive. For instance, the frequent use of 'So' at the beginning of sentences in the third paragraph disrupts the formal tone and limits the sophistication of the logical progression. Referencing is generally clear, but the connection between the local example of garment factories and the broader argument about 'newness' could be more explicitly linked to improve the overall cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several spelling errors, such as 'bussinessmen' (repeatedly), 'convience', 'thier', 'priducts', and 'advermisement'. Additionally, the word 'qualityful' is not standard English. While the writer successfully communicates their ideas, the reliance on basic vocabulary and the frequent spelling mistakes prevent the response from demonstrating a wider, more flexible range. To improve, the student should focus on learning standard collocations and proofreading for common spelling errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that, while not impeding communication, are noticeable. Examples include 'using advertisements bussinessmen are promoting', 'people to their buy their products', and 'trust in any products'. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are issues with sentence boundaries and capitalization (e.g., 'they can waste their valuable money...'). The control of grammar is inconsistent, and the student would benefit from focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles to improve accuracy.

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