Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is undeniable that in today's world, advertising has become an important role in promoting the products. In this regard, businesses in the modern era usually promote their products as new in some way. This essay will outline not only both perspectives but also the negative effects in upcoming fragments with a logical conclusion.

To commence with, there are several reasons for this notion. Firstly, to increase the sales of products. To explain it, companies attract the customers by showing the ads on different social media platforms. For example, a mobile company launches a new model of a mobile phone to attract customers; they show advertising to make people aware. As a result, people will be encouraged to buy products, which increases the sales and increases the profit in business. Secondly, businesses promote different offers. To clarify it, many business people provide offers, so advertising helps to promote the different offers, such as some offers being available for a limited time and discounts on products. As people buy more products by knowing about discounts and offers.

However, there are also negative effects of advertising. First and foremost is overpacking. To justify it, to attract the customers, some companies overpack the products. People buy these products even if they are unused, which may cause wastage of money and time. Also, overpacked products use non-recycled products, which may affect the environment. Moreover, fake information. In other words, some companies provide fake information about a product, such as advertising on cold drinks like Mountain Dew. In these ads, people drink cold drinks and climb mountains. In some cases, individuals try it and it may cause a risk to life. As a result, advertising also has negative effects.

In conclusion, although there are several reasons for this notion, such as increasing the sales and promoting the discounts and offers, yet the negative effects of this notion can never be neglected at any cost.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for emphasizing 'newness' and the evaluation of whether this is positive or negative. However, the development is somewhat uneven. While the reasons for the trend are clear, the discussion on whether it is positive or negative is underdeveloped. You mention 'negative effects' like overpackaging and misleading information, but you do not explicitly state your own position or provide a balanced view on whether the trend is overall positive or negative. To reach a higher band, ensure you clearly state your stance in the introduction and maintain that position throughout the essay, providing more nuanced arguments for both sides.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'However', to guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'In this regard' or 'In upcoming fragments'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear; for example, the phrase 'this notion' is used repeatedly to refer to the topic, which can feel repetitive. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents will help improve the flow and coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'undeniable', 'promote', and 'justify'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors. For example, 'overpacking' is used to describe excessive packaging, but 'excessive packaging' would be more natural. Similarly, 'advertising has become an important role' is grammatically awkward; 'plays an important role' would be correct. You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, but the range is somewhat limited. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and synonyms to avoid repeating the same words throughout the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the ads', 'the cold drinks') and sentence fragments. For example, 'As people buy more products by knowing about discounts and offers' is a dependent clause used as a complete sentence. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition usage. To achieve a higher band, you should aim for more error-free sentences and work on connecting your ideas using more sophisticated complex structures, while ensuring that your punctuation and grammar remain accurate.

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