Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some businesses in their advertisement emphasis that their products are up to date in some way. There are different possible reasons for this kind of act because they want to improve the marketing of their goods. There are many positive aspects of this kind of development. I will discuss it in detail.
On the first hand, many of the businesses use advertising to improve to values of their products and to make it more attractive according to the modern
trend. They use advertising and marketing strategies to emphasis the quality of their goods and attract customers who are hunting for innovation. Many businesses enhance customers by making changes in their products with respect to modesty. For example, care products were usually used by everyone in the past, but with the passage of time their product values stated to decline due to new traditions. Later they enhance the marketing and advertisement of their products by making it up to date in their advertisement.
Secondly, it is a good thing to make changes according to the new trends and customer demands. Additionally, when an organization improve the quality of their goods it can also support the economy of a particular country because by selling their products on more sites both inside the country and internationally. For example, Nike selling their products inside the country and also all over the world by advertising their products.
To conclude, making the values of products and goods and by enhancing products demand according to new trends is always beneficial for both a particular business and country. Personally, I really believe that advertising goods according to trend plays an important role in the development of any organization.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for emphasizing 'newness' and the evaluation of whether this is positive or negative. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. The explanation regarding why businesses emphasize newness is repetitive, and the argument for why it is positive lacks depth, relying on vague statements like 'it can also support the economy.' The example of Nike is relevant but not fully explained in the context of the prompt's focus on 'newness.' To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific, analytical examples and ensure your position is consistently clear and well-supported throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For instance, 'On the first hand' is an incorrect collocation (it should be 'On the one hand'), and the transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the link between 'care products' and 'new traditions' is confusing. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on basic terms like 'good thing' and 'improve,' which limits your ability to express complex ideas. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'respect to modesty' (which seems to be a misuse of the word 'modernity') and 'stated to decline' (likely meant 'started'). To improve, focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to marketing and consumer behavior, and try to use a wider range of vocabulary to convey your points more precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'many of the businesses use... to improve to values'), incorrect verb tenses, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'making it up to date in their advertisement'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with pluralization and verb forms, and practice constructing more complex sentences without sacrificing correctness.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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