Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Advertising is the new art to convince the people to buy their products. And the companies are using different tools for to reach out the consumers. For that they are now using different types of ways to advertise, like social media websites, and they also buy our data like mobile number email and what we like and dislikes, from the meta and Google. While they send us the messages and emails too, even they call us on our numbers. Whatever they can do to reach out they do it.
In my opinion that's not good. It's against our privacy. It's negative. Because they are not aware of anything about us, how we feel when they send us messages, emails and when calls.
When I was in my school during studies, one of my favourites teacher got a message that he won the prize but he had to buy our product first, then we give you the prize, so he did it and bought there too many products. But then they didn't give him any gifts, it was just a trap or sales marketing to sell their products. After that he went to police and wanted to report it but police said it's not a traceable.
Therefore it is negative and government should take a notice of it and have to reduce these types of loose of people. And it's also our duty to should rise our voice against it, while using the social media and other platforms. Give awareness to people about it, so they can be save form this type of fraud. Nowadays every where, it's the normal to reach out anyone.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt but fails to engage with the core requirement of explaining why businesses emphasize that products are 'new'. The essay focuses almost exclusively on the negative aspects of intrusive advertising and data privacy, rather than the marketing strategy behind product innovation. The position is clear, but the development is limited and lacks depth. The example provided about a teacher being scammed is anecdotal and does not directly answer why companies use 'newness' as a selling point. To improve, you must ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed equally, focusing on the underlying reasons for the business behavior described in the question.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. Transitions between ideas are often abrupt or missing, such as the jump from general advertising to the personal anecdote about a teacher. Cohesive devices are used in a very basic or repetitive way, such as the frequent use of 'and' and 'but' to start sentences. Referencing is sometimes unclear, for example, the phrase 'they are not aware of anything about us' lacks a clear antecedent. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in contrast') to connect sentences and ideas more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'good', 'bad', 'things', and 'ways'. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choice, such as 'it's not a traceable' and 'reduce these types of loose of people'. The range is sufficient to convey the basic meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to marketing and consumer behavior, and avoid using informal or conversational language in an academic essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('one of my favourites teacher'), article usage, and sentence structure ('for to reach out the consumers'). Complex sentence structures are attempted but are often faulty, leading to run-on sentences or fragmented thoughts. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions, before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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