Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Advertisement plays a crucial role in a business model becuase it features the unique appearance of the item also demonstrates the indespensible qualities which looks completely compelling to the audience. Moreover, mostly products offers same approaches but way of presenting provide a completely new look. I firmly believe this method has detrimental effects on society but partially benefits the economy of country.

Articulating the dark side of business industries. Recent data showing the great growth in cosmetic market because they hypnotize the massive clients globally by selling the same items in different containers. Furthermore, majorty of products contains basic ingredients but every different advertisement attacths a new emotional story and current issue where they launch different creams and serum according to the season and even its available in plenty of fragarences. Despite this, not this just fooling people but causing environmental impacts by contaminated the air and water. Giant mountains of plastic cans takes millions of years to get composed properly and lot of stray animals consumes upto hunders of plastic dumped by humans. This definately have a more concering issues.

Apart from the negative sides it also offers numerous advantages. It contributes a huge role in world economy and open new ways by offering several jobs to needy people. Tax helps the government to focus on building new monuments and building for the welfare of the societies or even helps people in many terms.

In conclusion, advertisements are exploting the mother nature but also helps the people financally. A balance approach will definately helps

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: explaining why businesses emphasize 'newness' and providing an opinion on whether this is positive or negative. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention the cosmetic industry as an example, the explanation of why companies focus on 'newness' is brief and lacks depth. The argument regarding the negative environmental impact is relevant, but the positive economic argument is underdeveloped and lacks specific supporting evidence. To improve, ensure each main point is supported by a clear, logical explanation or a more detailed example to fully meet the requirements of a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'Despite this, not this just fooling people' is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. Transitions between ideas are sometimes abrupt, such as the sudden shift to the economic benefits in the third paragraph. The concluding sentence is incomplete ('A balance approach will definately helps'), which negatively impacts the overall coherence. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the logical progression of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

There is an adequate range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, but there are frequent errors in word choice and spelling that occasionally impede communication. For instance, 'indespensible' (indispensable), 'attacths' (attaches), 'fragarences' (fragrances), and 'concering' (concerning) are misspelled. Additionally, phrases like 'hypnotize the massive clients' and 'get composed properly' are unnatural collocations. While you attempt to use more sophisticated vocabulary, the lack of precision and the high frequency of errors suggest a limited control over lexical features. Focusing on accurate spelling and learning common collocations will help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and pervasive. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'mostly products offers' and 'Giant mountains... takes'. Punctuation is also problematic, particularly with sentence fragments and run-on sentences. The final sentence is incomplete, which is a significant error. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high density of errors in basic grammar—such as article usage and verb forms—prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring all sentences are complete.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.