Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, companies commit that their products have new and advance features in the marketing. This may increase their sales and market value. In my point of view there are many positive aspects for growth but also having some negative involved.

One of the major reason for advertise the product is that making the market value. A Specific product seen every time, people change the thing into new to stay updated. This may high his class and company make a great number of revenue and also targeted sales. For example, a mobile company always launching his new mobile phones with minor change of camera, ram, rom or other things. Also advertise on bill boards , wall prints and digital on smarts phones. This encourages the consumers to change their existing phones into new one. this step can enhance the number of sales, company value and customers trust.

Another main reason of the advertisement is that it encourages the excitement of the citizens and the competition of the companies increase . This Forces the companies to make the product that is in quality and affordable too.

On the other hand, the drawback of this initiative is that many of the individuals not having too much money for the update things but marketing change their whole mind and after that they regret to waste money because the old machine is doing well.

In conclusion, Businesses are emphasise people to stay updated with their new products. This innovation of population increase the sales of companies and people get new features. From mine perspective, that kind of marketing strategy is very advantageous for people to use new features and for organization to compete others in develompent.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: explaining why businesses emphasize 'newness' and providing an opinion on whether this is positive or negative. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention market value and consumer excitement, the arguments lack depth and specific, well-explained examples. The mobile phone example is relevant but described in a repetitive manner. To achieve a higher band, you should expand on the 'why' behind your points, perhaps discussing planned obsolescence or the psychological impact of consumerism more thoroughly. Your position is clear, but the supporting arguments need more rigorous exploration to fully satisfy the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'On the other hand' and 'In conclusion,' to signal shifts in the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as 'One of the major reason for advertise' which lacks proper grammatical linking. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the use of 'this step' or 'this initiative' which could be more precisely linked to the preceding ideas. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'new,' 'change,' and 'things,' which limits the sophistication of your argument. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'commit that their products have' (instead of 'claim' or 'assert') and 'update things' (instead of 'upgraded products'). While your meaning is generally clear, the lack of more precise, academic vocabulary prevents the response from reaching a higher level. You should focus on learning collocations related to business and marketing to improve your lexical range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's flow. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('One of the major reason...'), incorrect verb forms ('Businesses are emphasise'), and awkward phrasing ('This may high his class'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While you attempt complex sentences, they are often faulty. To improve, you need to focus on basic grammatical accuracy, specifically verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles, before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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