Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Industries in recent times are prioritizing on showing their products are more modern compared to others because it is attracting more audience than before. In my opinion, it is a positive improvement as the consumers are getting the opportunity to select the best products among others.

It is true that companies are displaying their goods are unique in many ways including new features, safety, feasibility and so on. There can be a variety of preferences among the customers, some people can like the health benefits or eco-friendliness, someone could love the conveniency of the products. So, companies are focusing that their products attract the bigger audience and making it easier to buy that goods from that company, which also makes a good impression of the brand.

It can be argued that this step is positive development for the betterment of the people, although I believe it can increase the scope to change the society in many ways. For example, the cell phone industry is one of the biggest profitable industries including brands like iPhone, Samsung, Xiaomi etc. They are constantly upgrading their features in the phones and this the main focus that they display that in the launching events. This helps consumers to select their preferable choice as well as the competition among the brands is increasing, which gives the scope the customers to enjoy more features. The car brands, like the Tesla, Toyota, Volkswagen are also doing the same thing, resulting more customers buying their cars.

In conclusion, recently the brands are focusing on displaying the new features in their products comparatively to others. Although, it can be argued whether it is a positive or negative improvement, I believe it can pose affirmative impacts.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: explaining why businesses emphasize newness and providing an opinion on whether this is positive or negative. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention consumer preferences and competition, the explanation of 'why' businesses do this could be more deeply explored beyond just 'attracting audience'. The examples provided, such as the smartphone and automotive industries, are relevant and support your argument well. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting points are more thoroughly elaborated rather than just stated.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'For example' and 'In conclusion', to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel a bit abrupt. For instance, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother to better connect the general concept of consumer choice to the specific industry examples. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'this step', 'that goods') is precise will help improve the overall cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'eco-friendliness', 'feasibility', and 'affirmative impacts'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'prioritizing on showing' (should be 'prioritizing showing') and 'conveniency' (the correct noun is 'convenience'). Additionally, 'that goods' is grammatically incorrect; 'those goods' would be appropriate. While you attempt to use some less common vocabulary, the control is not yet fully consistent. Focusing on accurate collocations and refining your use of academic terminology will help elevate your score in this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'prioritizing on showing', 'some people can like' (should be 'might like'), and 'this the main focus that they display that in the launching events' (which is structurally awkward). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but there are some issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of relative clauses to create more sophisticated, error-free complex sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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