Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-20
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In modern era lots of businesses in present day usually emphasise that their products are latest in some way. I think this is a negative development and i will talk about it in upcoming paragraph.
To begin with, it is encourge individuals to replace their gadgets with new one. In modern time all people want latest smartphones with new features and companies know it and thats by they launch new smartphones every year to encourge people to buy that smartphone with latest features. It is impact on individuals income source because it create curiocity to buy that products it is impact on individuals saving and also on future because they spend that money on that products. For example, article published by hindustan times in 2022 was that lost of individuals spend lots of their saving on products which is recently launched because they want to buy new products.
Furthermore, in the advestisements they promote lots of drinks which is not good. Companies know that in present day youngsters prefer to eat snacks and soft drinks and they launch various types of cold drinks for them which contain zero suger and but this is also impact on youngsters because this zero suger cold drinks contain lots of chemical which cause serious healthcare problems such as obesity and bones density etc. It is impact on youngsters future.
To conclude, in this essay i talk about demerits points of adversitings. Firstly it is impact on individuals savings and secondly it is cause lots of serious health related problems in youngters.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: why businesses emphasise that products are new, and whether this is a positive or negative development. The writer takes a clear stance that it is a negative development, citing consumerism and health issues. However, the ideas are somewhat limited and lack full development. For example, the point about advertising promoting unhealthy drinks deviates slightly from the core prompt about 'new' products, shifting the focus towards advertising generally rather than the emphasis on novelty. Consequently, the task response aligns best with Band 5, as the ideas are somewhat under-developed and drift off-topic in the second body paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The text is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing an attempt at paragraphing. However, the logical progression is weak. The transition phrases used, such as 'To begin with' and 'Furthermore', are somewhat mechanical, and referencing is often unclear (e.g., 'it is impact on individuals income source because it create curiocity to buy that products'). The relationship between ideas within sentences is frequently obscured by grammatical issues and poor cohesion. Paragraphing is present, but overall the progression is difficult to follow at times, leading to a Band 5 score.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The lexical resource is limited and repetitive. Words such as 'products', 'latest', 'smartphone', and 'impact' are overused. There are numerous word choice and word formation errors, such as 'encourge' instead of encourage, 'suger' instead of sugar, and 'advestisements' or 'adversitings' instead of advertisements. Less common vocabulary is attempted with very low accuracy, and spelling mistakes are frequent ('curiocity', 'youngters'). This fits the Band 4 descriptor where vocabulary is basic and repetitive, though communication is still generally achieved despite errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentences, but grammatical accuracy is very low. Almost every sentence contains serious errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Examples include 'lots of businesses in present day usually emphasise that their products are latest', 'it is impact on individuals income source', and 'in this essay i talk about demerits points'. Complex structures are consistently faulty, and punctuation is weak. Due to the high frequency of errors that impede fluency and cause strain for the reader, this warrants a Band 4.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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