Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Nowadays businesses shows or emphasise that their products are new in some way in their advertisment.
Businesses shows their products are new in some way from different products to sell their product in a market Beacuse same products sell everywhere so no one can trust on other businesses. They shows their products are unique from other to grow their businesses.
They shows their products are new or different from others to sell more products which helps them to grow their business.
From my prespective, it is just because to attract more audience or reach to grow their businesses. Also this a good strategy they use to sell their products. Audience buy products from them beacuse they sell something new in their products. Audience trust on their businesses and avail the opportunity to get something new which is totally different from others.
I would argue that it is a postive development in a sense of marketing strategy which is used by the businesse to emphasise that their product are new in some way. A Good Example of this is Beauty Products. The businesses who sell Beauty Products, they shows in advertisement that they added new ingredients in their creams or mask for glowing skins. So the audience who take care of their skin definately chose their product to check the result.
In Conclusion, I would say that it is a smart and attractive strategy used by the businesses to sell their products and to grow their Business on a large scale.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: why businesses emphasise that their products are new, and whether this is a positive or negative development. The writer takes a clear position, arguing that it is a positive marketing strategy. However, the development of ideas is repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the reasons given for why businesses do this ('to sell their products', 'to grow their businesses') are restated multiple times across paragraphs without being fully extended with rich supporting details. The example of beauty products is relevant, but it remains brief. Because the student addresses all parts of the prompt with a clear, albeit basic, position and relevant ideas, the response satisfies the requirements for Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, featuring an introduction, body paragraphs addressing the prompt questions, and a conclusion. However, the overall progression is heavily hindered by severe repetitiveness. Sentences like 'They shows their products are new or different from others to sell more products' are echoed in almost every paragraph, creating a circular flow rather than a logical progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are basic and sometimes misused or overused, such as repetitive transitions and referencing pronouns ('They shows...') that are frequently unclear or grammatically mismatched. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal cohesion of the writing is weak, aligning closely with the Band 4.0 descriptors.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and limited in range. Words and phrases such as 'products', 'businesses', 'new', and 'sell' are recycled constantly throughout the text without variation (e.g., repeating 'They shows their products are new...' multiple times). There are noticeable errors in word formation and choice, such as 'prespective' (perspective), 'postive' (positive), and awkward collocations like 'reach to grow their businesses' or 'Audience take care of their skin definately chose their product'. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the basic message, the frequent errors and lack of flexibility place this response securely at Band 4.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and repetitive subject-verb patterns. There are frequent and systematic grammatical errors throughout the text. Subject-verb agreement errors are prominent, such as 'Businesses shows' instead of 'Businesses show', and 'Audience buy' / 'Audience trust'. Other issues include missing articles, incorrect prepositions ('in a sense of', 'take care of'), and spelling mistakes like 'Beacuse' and 'definitely'. Attempts at more complex structures are often faulty and create frequent hurdles for the reader, which is characteristic of a Band 4.0 performance.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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