Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
It is widely believed that businesses in the present days usually highlight items are new in the advertising .i argue that it is a positive improvment with many benifits.
On the one hand, in the advirtisment the products is designed in beautiful style with good decoration. because in nowadays the businessess earning is completely on social media in worldwide. Moreover, the commercial advertisiment is see many people on facebook, many individual in nowadays use social media such as facebook, youtube and wattsafe, then those are best platform for businesses advertisiment and development businesses is more faster compared to poster or paper. While, that is quckily response also available for instance, many UK universities creat their own website and they share the university admisiom portal in many social media platform ,then the international students enrolled them online with also available international recruitment for students helping, I suggest that is good opportunity to use media for advertisimint.
On the other hand, many people use a product in a month, Furthemore they did not wants to use that thing anymore and they looking a new product similary to that, then people visit on social media platform in order those products. for instance, in the USA, the Amazone plartform is best peolpe use it for businesses with a lot of new products present on them. Additinaolly, people order from them. In my view, the good with stylish product include which is people advertising on the Amazone plartform.
In conclusion, the people earning is online frome multiple website on social media, they are ver beneficiall for businesses and consumers.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing why businesses emphasise new products and offering a clear personal opinion that it is a positive development. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat repetitive, relying heavily on vague mentions of social media and online shopping rather than deeper exploration of consumer psychology or market competition. Examples provided, such as UK universities or Amazon, are loosely connected to the main thesis rather than fully elaborated. As a result, the task is addressed only partially, placing the response squarely at Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The text is organised into paragraphs, featuring standard transition markers such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. However, the overall progression of ideas is hindered by run-on sentences and a lack of clear logical flow. Referencing is frequently unclear, with pronouns like 'that' or 'those' referring ambiguously back to previous clauses. Furthermore, cohesive devices are often inaccurate or mechanically applied, and paragraphing is not always used to separate distinct conceptual arguments effectively, resulting in a Band 5 performance.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently impeded by numerous spelling errors such as 'improvment', 'benifits', 'advirtisment', 'quckily', 'admi siom', 'plartform', 'Additinaolly', and 'beneficiall'. While the writer attempts to use topical vocabulary related to business and technology (e.g., 'social media', 'advertising', 'consumers'), the lexical control is weak. There are frequent word-choice errors, such as 'development businesses is more faster', which restrict the range and cause strain for the reader, aligning with Band 4 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control is very weak. The writing is dominated by heavy punctuation errors, missing capitalisation, and fused sentences lacking appropriate subordination (e.g., 'because in nowadays the businessess earning is completely on social media in worldwide'). Grammatical errors are frequent throughout the text, including tense inconsistencies, subject-verb agreement issues ('people use a product... they did not wants'), and misuse of articles. These errors consistently strain the reader's comprehension, corresponding to a Band 4 score.
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