Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
While marketing new products, business nowadys stress that thier products are changed somehow from pervious ones because it leads to more sales and buzz aboud thier product in the market. While i think there can be benifits for this practice including increased business and brand awareness but ultimatley it is negative for end users beacuse they are essaintly buying almost same product but with different name. Furthermore, It also slows down the inovation for new type of products.
In present times, people tend to buy new products as soon as they are lunched in the fear that they might miss out on features. The truth is in current times businesses are taking advantage of people by making same kind of product each time with little to no improvement. Mobile phones are most prmonient in this practice. Companies like samsung and apple release new phone every year and adverise people to forcefully switch by making new software features exclusive to new phone. Eventhough multiple independant reviwers have identified these features can work in older phone by simpling updating the software.
This practice also hurt invovation of new products and technology. Since, companies know that are going to make profit out of new products no matter what. Compaines start to cut thier bugets for research and devlopment and stick to the same profit making formulas. As a result, people who are responsible for inovation are cutoff form the buiness and products remain almost identical release by release. For example, Nokia refused to move towards samrtphones in 2007 and spend almost nothing in research and devlopment for smartphones, in the end they went from number one mobile phone seller to being bankrupt.
In conclusion, i think this practice is very negative for compaines to market thier prodcuts as new even though nothing is actually changed. Consequntly, it hurts the end user by giving them the same thing with no addional benifits. It also halts the inovation of products by halting research and development.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing why businesses emphasise new products and offering a clear personal position that it is a negative development. The ideas presented are generally relevant, covering consumer behavior and the impact on innovation, and they meet the requirements of the lower band. However, to reach a higher level, the ideas need more full development and extension. For instance, the example regarding mobile phones and brands like Samsung and Apple is introduced, but its explanation remains slightly generalized rather than fully fleshed out with precise elaboration. Similarly, the Nokia example in the third paragraph touches on important industry trends, but it is not connected deeply enough to the core argument about cosmetic product updates versus genuine technological leaps. Nevertheless, a clear position is maintained throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the response into an introduction, two body paragraphs focusing on distinct points, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used adequately to separate main ideas, such as consumer impact versus innovation consequences. However, cohesion at times feels mechanical or faulty due to awkward transitional phrases and referencing issues, such as starting consecutive sentences with 'While' or abrupt shifts between ideas without smooth logical bridges. Reference words are occasionally unclear, and the overall progression between sentences could be tighter. To achieve a higher standard, the writer needs to employ a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure that the relationship between sentences is seamlessly signaled.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully communicating central arguments about business marketing and consumerism. However, the lexical resource is noticeably constrained by frequent spelling errors throughout the text, including words such as 'nowadys', 'thier', 'pervious', 'benifits', 'ultimatley', 'beacuse', 'essaintly', 'inovation', 'lunched', 'prmonient', 'adverise', 'independant', 'reviwers', 'simpling', 'bugets', 'devlopment', 'cutoff', 'form', 'samrtphones', 'compaines', 'prodcuts', and 'Consequntly'. While these errors do not completely obscure the overall meaning of the text, their high frequency impedes fluent reading and restricts the score. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items like 'brand awareness' and 'fear of missing out', but inaccurate word forms and spelling slip-ups prevent the vocabulary from reaching a more advanced rating.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The essay exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt at varied structures such as conditional and relative clauses. There are several grammatical and punctuation errors present, including missing articles ('in present times'), incorrect capitalization ('Furthermore, It'), and minor structural awkwardness in complex sentences. For example, phrases like 'Since, companies know that are going to make profit out of new products no matter what' contain fragment issues and missing subjects or relative pronouns. Punctuation is also sometimes faulty, such as placing commas incorrectly before dependent clauses. Fortunately, these errors rarely impede overall communication, allowing the reader to follow the arguments, but they are frequent enough to prevent the writing from achieving a higher level of grammatical control.
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