Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Businesses nowadays always look for an innovative way to emphasise their products to the customers. Innovative ways of advertising appeals to the people encouraging target customers to purchase their product.

Advertising about different products is getting innovative day by day and for the primary reason to sell the products to the targeted customer. Customers have multiple options while purchasing a certain product and having no improvement in the product they are using tends to make them bored and reluctant about using that product and start looking for better replacement. This drives the businesses to adverstise emphasising their products are difffernt and better than their previous products or superior than their competetors in the market. Advertsing aids in encouraging the customers to purchase the products.

For instance, smartphone companies always emphasises improvements of their latest products with a detailed comaprison with its predecessor while lauching encouraging customers to get their hands on the latest products when it is released in the market.

Although, emphasising new and developed products have positive developement but its also leads to negative development more than that of positive development. When newer products are being advertised in this manner it creates a sense of fear of missing out among customers leading to bad financial decisons effecting them in the long run.

For instance, when Apple launches its new products people who are not in need of the products often buy it even when they donot have sufficient budget to afford it. This is being triggered by advertising campaign lead by this businesses leading individuals to take bad financial decisions and amounting them to debt at a very early age.

In conclusion, Businesses need to be considerate about their impact in the customer space while pitching their products to the customers and should implement policies to ensure the safety of their reputation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both parts of the prompt: you explain that businesses stress novelty to attract buyers in a competitive market, and you judge the development as more negative because it can encourage unnecessary spending and debt. The smartphone and Apple examples make these points relevant. Your overall position is clear, especially in the paragraph beginning “Although”. However, the positive side is only briefly acknowledged, and the explanation of why customers seek replacements could be developed more precisely. The conclusion shifts to businesses protecting their reputation rather than directly restating your judgement or summarising the effects. To strengthen the response, explain the benefits as well as the harms and connect the conclusion explicitly to your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph explaining the commercial motive, a paragraph evaluating negative effects, and a conclusion. The examples are placed where they support the relevant claims, and transitions such as “For instance” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. This gives the essay a coherent progression. Some linking is less controlled, however: “Although” introduces a contrast, but the sentence that follows is awkwardly constructed, and “more than that of positive development” is not a clear comparison. Repeated references to advertising and customers also make parts feel mechanical. Use more precise links between claims and examples, and ensure each paragraph develops one main point before moving on.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “target customers,” “competitors,” “predecessor,” “fear of missing out,” and “financial decisions.” These choices show an attempt to discuss the issue beyond basic terms. However, spelling errors are noticeable, including “adverstise,” “difffernt,” “competetors,” and “comaprison,” and some word combinations or forms are inaccurate: “advertising about different products,” “positive developement,” and “amounting them to debt.” Repetition of “products,” “customers,” and “advertising” also limits flexibility. These issues do not prevent the main ideas from being understood, but they reduce precision and sometimes make the phrasing unnatural. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations, such as “promote new products” and “push consumers into debt.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “while,” “when,” and “leading to,” and the main message is generally clear. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with subject–verb agreement and sentence construction. For example, “Innovative ways of advertising appeals” should use a plural verb, while “smartphone companies always emphasises” has the same agreement problem. The opening of the third paragraph, “Although, emphasising new and developed products have positive developement but…,” combines contrasting structures incorrectly. There are also issues with articles and number, as in “a better replacement” after a plural idea, and punctuation around introductory clauses. Aim to build accurate complex sentences and proofread agreement and clause structure; this would make your range more controlled.

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