Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In recent years, many companies highlight in their advertisemnets that their products are new or updates. This essay will explain why business do this and why, I believe it is mostly a negative developmet.
There are two main reasons why companies emphasize new features. First, it try to catches people's attention. Consumer naturally get curious about the new products or their updates, so advertising them as new and improved help business stand out from their competitors. Second, companies want customers to upgrtade constantly. Fir instance, smartphones companies realese a new model every year with small changes, so that people feel their current phones level, is outdated and buy the latest one.
However, I believe this trend is generally negative for two key reasons. The primary issues is financial stresson consumers. People often feel stress and anxious about to buy items they do not really need just to follow trends, which leads to unnecessary spending. Another major problem is environmental waste. when people constantly buy new products like electornics or clothes, they normally throw away old ones that are still working perfectly. This creates huge amounts of extra trash and harms for the environment. Moreover, some people want to showcase their updates devices, so that they follow the trend when it comes.
In conclusion, companies advertise products as a new in many way, their mainly target to attract attention and boost their sales. In my opinion, this is an negative developments in the community, people can buy new things without any reason, they take a loan from bank, also it encorages overspredings and leads to environmental damage.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
You address both parts of the prompt: you explain that businesses use “new” claims to attract attention and encourage customers to upgrade, then clearly state that you see this as mostly negative. The smartphone example supports the first reason, while consumer spending and electronic or clothing waste support your opinion. This gives the response a relevant, clear foundation. However, some points are less fully developed than others. For example, the claim that people take bank loans appears only in the conclusion and is not explained or illustrated in the main discussion. The point about showcasing updated devices also needs a clearer link to the effects of advertising. Develop each reason with a specific explanation or example to make the argument more complete.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, a paragraph explaining businesses’ motives, a paragraph presenting your negative view, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “First,” “Second,” “However,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the main stages. The ideas generally progress logically, and the smartphone example is placed appropriately. At times, though, connections are mechanical or unclear. “Moreover” introduces the point about showcasing devices without explaining how it relates to the preceding environmental argument, and the final sentence combines several consequences without clear links. Some references, such as “their updates devices,” are also difficult to follow. Use transitions to show the precise relationship between ideas, and keep each paragraph focused on a clearly developed central point.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “competitors,” “outdated,” “unnecessary spending,” and “environmental waste,” which helps communicate your main ideas. There is also some attempt to express more specific concepts, such as customers feeling pressure to upgrade. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word forms are noticeable, including “advertisemenets,” “developmet,” “upgrtade,” and “overspredings.” Some combinations are also unnatural or unclear, such as “people current phones level” and “showcase their updates devices.” These errors sometimes make the reader pause to interpret your meaning. Build accuracy by checking spelling and word forms, and learn common collocations such as “release a new model,” “feel pressured to upgrade,” and “dispose of old products.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause in “so that people feel their current phones level, is outdated” and a relative clause in “old ones that are still working perfectly.” This shows some range, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, there are several errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “it try to catches” should use a correctly formed verb, while “Consumer naturally get curious” needs agreement and a plural form. The conclusion also joins several independent ideas with commas, making the relationships unclear. Practise checking subject–verb agreement, infinitive and verb forms, and sentence boundaries. More accurate control of these patterns would make your argument easier to read.
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