Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

it is important to advertising their products beacause if a salles man would sell his product in market he would advertise theri product.it is important to shows all the thing which he have for selling.nowadays it usually depends on a product that is this product should be able to buy at this final rate.

A sellesman who were giving his produst to diffirent companies he would be advertise fisrt for their selling.He would go on diffirent shops and he can easlly sell all his products

it is a positive development on the other hand it should be nagetive development because some nagetive people who wanted that his product can not be sell out. they will makes difficulty for him for not selling. if we saw in positive way we needs to understand the logic of selling product by advertising.

for example my friend Ali , we have have been friends for 10 years. he really wanted to starts a busniess during his study. at first he faces to much difficulty in his bussiness and some time he felt stressed.

after some time he start to advertise his product on social media like tiktok.whoever he sell mobile accesrises as well in his local area .

After advertising his product he would be able to start bid mont of money and recently he opend his shop in a famous mall which is located in our city.

this experience show that adevtising product should be more helpfull in our business.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response gives a personal example and states that advertising is helpful, but it does not adequately answer both parts of the question. The reasons businesses emphasise that products are new are not explained; instead, the opening discusses advertising and selling in general. The position is also unclear: “it is a positive development” is immediately qualified by “it should be nagetive development,” without explaining when or why the development might be harmful. Ali’s experience illustrates how advertising can help a business, but it does not address the specific focus on promoting products as new. The response is also three words below the required minimum. To improve, explain why businesses highlight novelty, give a consistent positive or negative judgement, and develop a relevant counterpoint if appropriate.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: it moves from general comments about selling to a positive/negative statement and then to an example about Ali. The example gives the final paragraph a recognisable focus, and phrases such as “for example” and “After advertising” help signal connections. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the opening repeats similar points, the shift to a negative view is abrupt, and the relationship between “negative people” and the development is unclear. Paragraphing is limited, with ideas crowded together and no clear concluding summary beyond the final sentence. Organise the essay into distinct paragraphs for reasons, evaluation, and example, and use linking phrases to show how each point supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small range of topic-related vocabulary, including “advertise,” “product,” “business,” “social media,” and “local area,” so the general subject is usually identifiable. The personal example also includes some specific terms, such as “mobile accessories” and “famous mall.” However, vocabulary is repetitive, and several word choices or phrases are unclear or inaccurate, including “start bid mont of money” and “advertising product should be more helpfull in our business.” Frequent spelling errors—such as “sallesman,” “diffirent,” and “advetising”—also make the writing less clear and weaken control of vocabulary. Build a more precise range for the task, such as “launch,” “innovative,” and “attract customers,” and check spelling and natural word combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple statements and longer clauses, for example, “After advertising his product he would be able to…” and “if a salles man would sell his product…”. However, control of sentence structure and verb forms is inconsistent, and many sentences contain errors that make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “it is important to shows,” “A sellesman who were giving,” and “he start to advertise,” where verb forms do not fit the subject or tense. Articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries also need attention; several ideas run together without clear punctuation. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “because,” “although,” or “when.” Proofread for subject–verb agreement and consistent past or present tense.

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