Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In their advertising the businesses nowadays usually in the different ways their are many business such as shoping mall, resturents, educations and the other side. I am disagree in this statement that many reason in the following paragraphs.

First of all, the big mall offer on the clothes and the shoes on the 50% off this offer on the internet. When the people saw the this offer on the internet they go to the mall for buy the clothes and the shoes are very cheep and the poor quality of this. For example the last wek a offer of the Toor shopping mall on 45% off the result is very bad.

Second of all, the many banks of add on the internet of the my bank is good for other first is told that no tex on it then the create an account in the bank so all the charges on the account holder. This is scam on the account holder. for example the Allied bank is allow the service, ATM card and the cheeq book is available on this charges on it.

Third of all, the large advertising of the education the private sector many add on the internet they show the big playing ground, large air rooms, big staff room and the many fans in the school so the parent comes to the school for the admission of the child but the parent see the school inside they were very surprise on this. For example is Punjab school is the example of this.

To sum up that the many company is uesing this method so for Iam disagree in the statement.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response gives a clear negative view, especially in the conclusion, and offers examples involving shopping, banking and private schools. However, it does not adequately answer both parts of the question. The reasons businesses emphasise that products are new are not explained; instead, the essay discusses misleading offers and advertising claims more generally. The examples, such as the mall discount and the bank account charges, are difficult to follow and are not developed enough to show how they support the argument. The position is also introduced unclearly with “I am disagree in this statement.” To strengthen the response, explain why businesses promote novelty—for example, to attract attention or distinguish products—and then assess whether this practice is beneficial or harmful, supporting each point with clear reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The essay has a recognisable structure: an introduction, three body paragraphs signalled by “First of all,” “Second of all” and “Third of all,” and a concluding sentence. This gives the reader a basic route through the response. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because ideas and examples are not clearly connected. For instance, the bank paragraph moves from an online claim about no tax to account charges and then an ATM card without explaining the relationship. The repeated sequencing phrases also make cohesion mechanical, while references such as “this offer” and “this” are sometimes unclear. Use topic sentences that state one main point, then explain it and connect a specific example directly to it.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The response uses a basic range of vocabulary related to advertising and services, including “offer,” “account holder,” “admission” and “private sector.” These words help identify the intended topics, but vocabulary is often repetitive or imprecise, and errors sometimes make the meaning hard to understand. Phrases such as “large advertising of the education” and “the big mall offer on the clothes” are not natural collocations. There are also frequent spelling errors, including “shoping,” “resturents,” “cheep” and “uesing.” Build a more accurate set of topic-specific expressions, such as “promote a new product,” “attract customers,” “misleading claims” and “hidden charges.” Check spelling and choose words that express the intended meaning precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise ideas into sentences and to use some longer structures, including “When the people saw this offer on the internet they go to the mall.” However, sentence patterns are mostly simple or incomplete, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction frequently obscure meaning. Examples include “I am disagree,” “the parent comes to the school,” and “the many company is uesing this method.” Several clauses are joined without clear grammatical links, as in the opening sentence, making it difficult to identify the main point. Work first on accurate simple sentences, then practise combining them with controlled clauses using “because,” “although” and “when.” Check subject–verb agreement and verb forms when revising each sentence.

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