Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Advertising wrong products for business growth is not a good idea . Every single product needs to be tested verified by the owner itself before it goes for advertising as if it may cause problem for people who actually buy it just by the advertisement. Products should not be emphasized without a proper investigation here's an example there is this business who sells sunscreens and in the advertisement phase it emphasizes that this product is good for all types of skins and can be used blindly on our face this type of advertisment is wrong if a business owner wants to sell his or her product more effectively It should be advertised with clear detail of how it is good for acne prone skin or for dry sensitive skin basically should describe everything in detail so that the buyer has the idea of what he's buying advertising products based on how they look how much affordable they are or it is a new product in the form of the same old product doesn't makes the business grow as the product might not suit ones skin just because it was not advertised properly it has both positive and negative properties but showing the old product in the form of new product is simply a negative point if a business wants to grow rapidly the it should not chase the quantity it should chase the quality of the product by proper research and verification and lastly the testing system is more important .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response only minimally addresses the prompt because it focuses mainly on whether advertising is accurate and whether products are properly tested, rather than explaining why businesses highlight novelty. Your view is partly apparent in the claim that presenting an old product as new is “simply a negative point,” but the essay does not clearly assess the broader development or explain its effects. The sunscreen example illustrates misleading claims about suitability for different skin types, not why companies emphasise newness. To strengthen the response, explain likely motives—such as attracting attention, differentiating products from competitors, or encouraging repeat purchases—and then give a clear, sustained judgement about whether this trend is positive or negative, supported by relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a discernible central concern—businesses should prioritise product quality and provide accurate information—and the sunscreen example gives the discussion a concrete focus. However, ideas are not arranged into clear stages: the response moves from testing, to advertising claims, to affordability and appearance, and then to business growth without a clear progression. It is presented as one long paragraph, and linking expressions such as “basically,” “just because,” and “and lastly” do not establish the relationships between points reliably. Separate the essay into an introduction, developed body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Within each paragraph, use clear topic sentences and connect each example directly to the claim it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the general concern about advertising, product quality, and consumer suitability. Phrases such as “proper investigation,” “sensitive skin,” and “quality of the product” are relevant to the example. However, the range is limited and several expressions are imprecise or repetitive, including repeated uses of “product,” “advertisement,” and “good.” Some collocations and word forms are awkward, such as “advertising wrong products” and “doesn't makes the business grow,” which can make the intended point less clear. Build a more precise vocabulary for the actual topic, including terms for novelty and marketing motives, and check spelling and word forms. This would help distinguish misleading advertising from the deliberate promotion of a product as new.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to express complex relationships, for example with “as if it may cause problem for people who actually buy it,” and uses conditional structures such as “if a business wants to grow rapidly.” However, the range is limited, and attempts to join several ideas often produce faulty or difficult-to-follow sentences. Errors include “Every single product needs to be tested verified,” “it doesn't makes,” and “the it should not chase,” as well as missing or inconsistent punctuation that obscures sentence boundaries. Articles and agreement also need attention, as in “cause problem” and “one's skin.” Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine related ideas with accurate conjunctions and punctuation.

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