Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given topic is about of modern market strategy which is usually popular nowdays . The reasons behind of it is given below ;

Firstly every business is expand by their production and sales , so every business need to adopt new modern era or techniques by which they can interact with people widely by low effort and ofcoursely to minimize thier budget . So all of these things happened by the help of some apps or websites which is used by people widely all over the world thats why they used this because by this they can deliver their goods their rather then open new shops there. Actually if they open shops or malls in every cities of every country for selling their products , they used wearhoses of their country beacuse by this method they reduce their employes and targets. So basically this things help them very well and by using wearhouses they just need to contact with their retailer and consumers too directly and sell them their products easily , here is a golden point that they dont hired permanently staff for delivering they just made a deal with some goods transportation companies by which they reduce a extra work load easily. So main thing and the most important one is they just focused on advertising for getting interact with their people.

This development has positive vibes widely rather then negative ones . Here is some keywords , if some one needs a thing which is not belong to his country and for him is to difficult to move to another country for just buy one thing , so this online shoping saved his/her money of some unconditional travelling. Its also very helpful for those who they are not able to go out from their homes beacuse of some disability .

The negative impact of this modern era is that we losse our social values and going out with our family makes impossible for those who has only this condition to interact with their beloved ones. second is that by this unecessry advertisment people are addicted to buy new things and by this way they facing problems with money , for some limited incomes families this is vary bad and nowdays parents dosn't know what is their childrens ordered without his/ her permission , so when this happend the both parties consumers and seller.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that the development is positive, while also acknowledging disadvantages such as excessive spending and reduced family interaction. However, the response only partly addresses the central question: it focuses mainly on online selling, delivery and business costs, rather than explaining why companies emphasise that their products are new. The link between these business practices and advertising is asserted near the end of the first paragraph but is not explained. Several ideas, including convenience for disabled people and financial pressure on families, are relevant but remain brief or unclear. To strengthen the response, explain specific reasons for highlighting novelty—such as attracting attention, differentiating products from competitors or encouraging repeat purchases—and support each point with a developed example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the first paragraph discusses business practices, the second states a positive view, and the final paragraph introduces disadvantages. Basic signposting such as “Firstly” and “The negative impact” helps readers recognise these sections. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow because the first paragraph moves from expansion and technology to shops, warehouses, staffing and advertising without clearly connecting these points to the question. Long sentences also combine several ideas, while references such as “this” and “by this way” are sometimes unclear. The conclusion is incomplete, so the position is not brought together. Use one focused paragraph for reasons, then separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, with clear links between each claim and its explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “advertising,” “consumers,” “disability,” “social values” and “limited incomes.” These choices show some awareness of the subject, but the range is limited and several inaccurate or awkward expressions make parts of the response harder to understand. For example, “golden point,” “positive vibes,” “unconditional travelling” and “getting interact with their people” do not express the intended ideas naturally. There are also frequent spelling errors, including “nowdays,” “wearhoses” and “advertisment.” Build a more precise set of topic phrases, such as “highlight product innovation,” “attract potential customers” and “encourage impulse purchases,” and check spelling and collocations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and subordinate clauses, but control is weak: complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors can make the reader work to understand your meaning. Examples include “every business is expand,” “every business need,” and “they dont hired permanently staff,” which show problems with verb forms and agreement. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent; the final sentence beginning “second is that” runs into an unfinished clause. Articles, plurals and clause structure need attention as well. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine ideas using accurate clauses. For example, “Businesses highlight new products to attract customers” is clearer than the extended, loosely connected sentences in the opening paragraph.

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