Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In today compitative market , businesses often highlights new features of thier products in advertisements. This is mainly because companies want to attract customers and increase their sales. In my opinion, althoght this trend can encourage innovation, it can also have negative effects on consumers.

There are sevral reasons why businesses emphaises a newness of their products . Firstly , competetion between companies and businesses need to find ways to make their products stand out. by introducing new designs, advanced technology or improved features, they can attract people attantion. For example, mobile phone companies frequantly advertise new modles by highliting the better cameras , longer battery lefe and faster performance . As a result ,customers may feel intrested in buying the latest version instead of keeping their existing phones. Secondly , the word "new" create excitement and makes people curious baout the product , wgich can enciurage them to try it.

In my view , this development has both positive and negative aspects, bit I beleive disadvantages can be more significant . On the positive side , companies are encouraged to develop better priducts and intriduce useful improvements . This can be benifit consumers by providing them with the more convienet and efficient options. For instant , modern household appaliances often use less electricity and require lees effort than older models.

On the other hand, adverisements may persuade people to purchase products they do not really need . some companies focus in bew packaging or minor changes rather than meaningful imprivements . Consequantly, consumers may, waste money repalcing perfectly funtional items. Furthermore, contant advertising can encourage materlisim and increase unnescessary waste , which is harmful tp environment.

In conclsion, businesses emphases teh newness pf their products to attract attention, compete with other companies and boost sales .Alought this can promote innovation , I beleive it is genrallya negative development when advertisements encurages unnessery spending and exaggaerate the value of new poroducts .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5

The response addresses both parts of the question: it explains why businesses promote newness, citing competition, attention and curiosity, and gives a clear view that the development is generally negative despite its potential to encourage innovation. The examples of phones and energy-efficient appliances help support the main points, while the discussion of unnecessary purchases and waste gives the opinion relevant consequences. This is a strong, well-focused response. To develop it further, explain the examples or causal links in more depth: for instance, clarify how advertising minor changes leads consumers to replace usable products, or provide a more specific illustration of innovation benefiting buyers. Some claims, such as advertising increasing materialism, remain broad rather than fully explored.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: an introduction, reasons for the advertising approach, a balanced evaluation, and a conclusion that restates the position. Paragraphing is appropriate, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “On the positive side,” and “On the other hand” make the argument easy to follow. The conclusion also connects the reasons to the final judgement. Cohesion is generally effective, though the repeated use of explicit sequencing phrases makes some transitions feel formulaic. A few links between ideas could be smoother—for example, the move from companies’ competitive motives to consumers’ curiosity could be developed with a clearer connection. Use a wider variety of referencing and transitions to make the progression feel more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “advanced technology,” “improved features,” “meaningful improvements,” and “unnecessary waste.” These choices show an attempt to discuss both commercial motives and consumer effects. However, spelling errors are very noticeable throughout, including “compitative,” “attantion,” “frequantly,” and “materlisim,” and they sometimes make the reader pause. There are also inaccurate word forms and collocations, such as “emphaises a newness” and “focus in bew packaging.” These issues limit the precision and control of the vocabulary, even though the intended meaning is usually recoverable. Proofread spelling carefully and learn common topic collocations as complete phrases, rather than relying on approximate forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concessive opening (“although this trend can encourage innovation”) and a conditional-style explanation of how advertising affects buyers. Most ideas remain understandable, and the paragraph structure gives you room to express several relationships between causes and effects. Some grammatical errors nevertheless recur. For example, “businesses often highlights” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “the word ‘new’ create excitement” also needs a singular verb. Articles and sentence boundaries are inconsistent, as in “a newness” and the lower-case “by introducing” after a full stop. Work on agreement, article use, and punctuation, then check each sentence for a complete and correctly connected structure.

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