Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this competitive era, companies are running their business on an international level to compete with other renowned companies. Owing to this, thesedays, corporations modify their products into new ways and show in the market place through advertisement. In my perspective, it is a negative development and upcoming paragraphs also justify the reasons of this statement as well.

To commence with, there are myraid rationales why organistations are converted their products into new ways. First and foremost, capturing consumer attention for grow their business. To explain, few corporations are in loss bacuse they are not able to satisfy customer demand so to fulfill the needs of the consumers companies are emphasise that their products are new in some way and lauch in the market through advertisement which influence the consumers alot. For instance, a red bull company gained popularity in 2019 but after the competition increased and their sale was also decline and they convert their product into new way. Thus, earning well and makes their products well known on global level companies makes some changes.

On the flip side, there are myraid negative impact behind this tendency. Firstly, it creates environment problem along with unnecessary financial pressure. To elaborate it, if companies continue change for modify their items so there are plethora of resurces are needed which promote bad impact on environment like consumers are pressured to discard perfectly funtional electronics, clothes or appliances just to upgrade to latest version.

To recapitualte, i reiterate my opinion that undoubtedly, corporations want to get consumer attention and run their business globally but it is not good for the environment and it is unnecessary pressure on the mind.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your response addresses both questions: you explain that businesses highlight novelty to attract consumers and state clearly that you see this as negative, particularly because of environmental harm and pressure to replace usable goods. These are relevant ideas, and the example about consumers discarding functional electronics, clothes, or appliances helps illustrate your concern. However, the explanation of why companies do this is less fully developed: the Red Bull example is difficult to follow and does not clearly show what product change occurred or how advertising caused increased sales. The final reference to “pressure on the mind” is also not explained. Develop each main point with a clearer cause-and-effect explanation and a specific, credible example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph explaining companies’ motives, a paragraph presenting disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates your position. This gives the reader a recognisable line of progression, and signposts such as “To commence with” and “On the flip side” make the paragraph roles apparent. To make the organisation more fluent, reduce formulaic transitions and connect ideas more directly. For example, the Red Bull example is followed by “Thus, earning well…” without a clear link showing what changed or why that led to success. Some references, including “this tendency” and “it,” could also be more precise. Clearer links between claims, explanations, and examples would strengthen the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “consumer attention,” “financial pressure,” “environment,” and “perfectly functional electronics.” These choices help communicate the central argument, and some phrases are appropriate to the topic. However, inaccurate word choice, collocation, word forms, and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less clear. Examples include “modify their products into new ways,” “myraid rationales,” “resurces,” and “their sale was also decline.” Several expressions are also repetitive, particularly “new ways” and “products.” Aim for more natural collocations and check spelling carefully; using precise terms such as product innovation, sales decline, and resource consumption would make the argument clearer and more academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “if companies continue change…” and a relative clause in “consumers are pressured to discard perfectly functional…” This shows an effort to express relationships between ideas. However, control is inconsistent: some sentences contain faulty verb forms, agreement, or sentence construction, as in “organistations are converted their products” and “their sale was also decline.” The opening of the first body paragraph, “First and foremost, capturing consumer attention for grow their business,” is a fragment rather than a complete sentence. Work on forming complete clauses and checking tense and verb patterns, especially in longer sentences. More accurate sentence construction would make your reasoning easier to follow.

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