Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is often obeserved that , in their advertising , bussibness nowdays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. While there are few drawback of thi trend believe the benefits are more significant.

There are several reason why companies advertise their products as new , firstly people are intersted for new and modern things, they want to try the letest product. Like , clothes mobile phone and elctrices device . Secondaly they are bussiness comptate the other bussiness. they are introdusing the product for the atracted costumers and more gain profit. For example , mobile phone compnies are atracted the custmore from the new features in the mobile phone like , new camra qualities and new version and the colour , new feature . mobile compnaies are often adevertising improved camara and new tachonoligy people are the inspired and thre buy this products.

I believe this is manily a postive development because new product can make people lives and easire and more comfortable.New tachnology can save the time and imroved the quilities of product. Moreover the , competion are enacuareges companies are develop better products. However. some business exxagrated benefits the products just to poroduct inxcrease the money . As a reslut custmore are waste of money of the unasacary thing.some people they are the presausre buy are the product

So if that conculsed this are the better and not good because some people are the inspirde the product and some peop;e

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both questions: you suggest that businesses promote novelty to attract customers and compete, and you state that this is mainly positive because innovation can make life easier and products better. The mobile-phone example gives some relevant support. However, the reasons and benefits remain limited and are not fully explained, while the negative point about exaggerated claims and unnecessary purchases is brief. Your conclusion is incomplete (“some people are the inspirde the product and some peop;e”), so it does not clearly restate your overall view. The response is also 15 words below the 250-word minimum; the 10 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each main idea with a clear explanation or example, and finish with a complete conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, a paragraph explaining why businesses advertise new products, a paragraph giving your view, and a conclusion. This gives the reader a basic sense of the essay’s direction. However, progression is weakened by long, loosely connected sentences and frequent reliance on simple links such as “firstly,” “Secondaly,” “Moreover,” and “However.” Some connections are unclear, particularly the shift from the positive effects of technology to the warning about unnecessary purchases. The final sentence is unfinished, leaving the essay without a coherent ending. Use one main idea per paragraph, connect each example explicitly to that idea, and write a complete concluding sentence.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “advertising,” “features,” “compete,” “profit,” and “comfortable,” and you attempt to discuss both innovation and consumer behaviour. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations make meaning difficult to follow, such as “attracted the costumers,” “the inspired,” and “waste of money of the unasacary thing.” Spelling errors are also frequent, including “obeserved,” “bussibness,” and “tachonoligy,” which can distract the reader. Aim for accurate, natural phrases and check spelling carefully. For example, describe companies as “attracting customers” and say that consumers may “feel pressured to buy unnecessary products.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer structures, including a contrast with “While” and a reason introduced by “because,” but most sentences rely on basic patterns, and attempts at more complex sentences are often faulty. Errors in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement, articles, and plurals occur throughout. For instance, “people are intersted for new” does not form a correct grammatical pattern, and “new product can make people lives” has problems with articles and possessive structure. The final sentence is incomplete, and punctuation is inconsistent, with full stops and commas sometimes placed inappropriately. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check agreement and sentence boundaries before adding linking clauses.

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