Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the modern era, numerous people can easily attract from the worst thing due to eye catching advertising. Therefore, numbers of products which are increases just a few things from past version but still they present in such a good way to garb the attention or sell their products. However, in my opinion it makes negative impact on youth.

To begin with, nowadays businesses has started to investing in marketing for selling their products. Furthermore, some large scale compinies elaborate their things to show batter. In addition to that, in the recent span product color makes a significant impact on people if packaging was good with write color so their is high chance to sell their products to the maximum people. Apart from it, product price and that kind of few things are also matter to sell the products. Although, internet is the most usfull things to introduce a products and gel it with the people.

On the other hand, numbers of compinies have good it cell and they frequantly post products pictures and vidioes on social media. Moreover, some businesses has hire a special team to choose product theme and color but personally i believe that, just including color and few things are not matter because you have to searve batter quality of product. Furthermore, to hiring a celebrity has become a trende because lots of compinies use their cult fan follwing to show their products.

In conclusion, nowadays for businesses they have vast range of things to emphasise that their products are new in some ways but reality is they need to include good quality for costomers comfort and better experiance. However, doing only advertising have wide benefits but trust is most important part of businesses.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear negative view in the opening, saying the advertising approach “makes negative impact on youth,” and the conclusion stresses product quality and customer trust. However, the response only partly answers the task: it does not clearly explain why businesses emphasise that products are new. Most of the body discusses marketing methods—packaging, social media and celebrity endorsements—rather than the reasons for highlighting novelty. The claim about a negative effect on young people is also not explained or supported with an example. To strengthen the response, explain motives such as attracting attention, differentiating products from competitors or encouraging repeat purchases, then develop your positive or negative judgement with specific consequences and relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and phrases such as “To begin with” and “On the other hand” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow: the first body paragraph lists packaging, price and the internet, while the next shifts to social media, product quality and celebrities without clearly connecting these points to the question. “On the other hand” suggests a contrast, but the paragraph does not establish a clear opposing view. Several linking phrases, including “Furthermore” and “In addition to that,” are used mechanically. Organise each paragraph around one main reason or consequence, and use clear topic sentences and references to show how each example supports your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to advertising and business, including “packaging,” “social media,” “celebrity” and “product quality.” These choices help identify the general topic, but the range is limited and many expressions are inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes meaning hard to follow. Examples include “attract from the worst thing,” “garb the attention,” “good it cell,” and “cult fan follwing”; the intended meanings are unclear or expressed with unsuitable word choices. There are also frequent spelling errors, such as “compinies,” “usfull” and “experiance.” Build a reliable set of topic collocations and check spelling carefully. Prefer precise phrases such as “capture consumers’ attention” and “differentiate a product from competitors” over vague or incorrectly formed expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, using connectors such as “Although” and “because,” and the main topic can generally be identified. However, errors in sentence structure and basic grammar are frequent enough to make several sentences difficult to understand. For example, “businesses has started to investing” has problems with subject–verb agreement and verb form, while “if packaging was good with write color so their is high chance” has faulty clause construction and agreement. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent, as in “introduce a products,” and some sentences are fragments or run-ons. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time. Check agreement, articles and verb patterns during proofreading.

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