Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In contemporary society, advertisement plays a major role in an individual's life. A segment of the population believes that in advertising, businesses usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. This happens to attract lots of people towards there product so that they purchase it and they earn profit.

On the one hand, advertisements show their product in a distinguish way to attract more and more customers which contributes in a good profit. For instance, for the sale of chocolates they want more children to buy it; they advertise cartoons and children like them on a screen which attract them towards that and rises want to purchase it. From my opinion, that is a negative development which make adults and children to buy more things which are useless.

On the other hand, advertisers show advertisement such as based on alcohol, cigrettes and junk food which is detrimental for today's youth. This has negative impact on the adults they buy it and do smoking which is one of the bad habit which kill the one who is doing smoking as well as who is near by that person because it leads to lung cancer which is untreatable if it reaches to its last stages.

In conclusion, from my perspective I think some advertisement has negative impacts on generation which may affects the human progress and development of the society, this need to be cease beca

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify a relevant reason for highlighting novelty—attracting customers and increasing profit—and give examples involving children and harmful products. You also state a negative view, so the main parts of the question are recognisable. However, the response is under the required length: it contains 226 words, and 10 words copied from the prompt were not counted. This limits the development of your explanation. More importantly, the discussion focuses largely on advertising’s effects rather than explaining why businesses stress that products are new. The conclusion is cut off (“this need to be cease beca”), leaving your final point incomplete. Explain the appeal of novelty more directly, support your position with a developed example, and complete the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the signposts “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the broad structure visible. However, the two body paragraphs do not develop a clear contrast: both mainly describe negative effects, while the first begins with a point about attracting customers. Connections between ideas are sometimes unclear, as in the long sentence about chocolate advertising, where “which” and “that” do not clearly identify what they refer to. The conclusion is unfinished, which interrupts the overall progression. Organise the paragraphs around distinct reasons and effects, use clearer references, and ensure each paragraph leads logically to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “advertisements,” “customers,” “profit,” “detrimental,” and “lung cancer,” which helps communicate the general subject. There is also an attempt to express evaluation through phrases such as “negative development.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate or repetitive: “in a distinguish way,” “rises want,” and “bad habit” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling errors such as “cigrettes” and “there product” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise range for discussing marketing and consumer behaviour, and check collocations and spelling. For example, describe a product as “distinctive” and say advertising “increases consumers’ desire to buy.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a reason clause (“so that they purchase it”) and a longer explanation of smoking’s effects. However, control is inconsistent, and errors frequently affect clarity. Examples include “which attract them” and “which make adults and children,” where subject–verb agreement is incorrect, and “this need to be cease,” where the verb construction is faulty. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention; the chocolate example runs on through several linked clauses, making its meaning difficult to follow. Practise accurate agreement, verb forms and complete sentence construction. Breaking long explanations into shorter sentences will help you communicate your ideas more clearly while retaining some complex structures.

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