Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In their advertising, shopkippers nowdays usually emphasises that their things are fresh in few time. People do advertisment to sell our products fastly. In this essay, i think it is positive development.

First of all, advertisment mean to run different adds on social media .Many people see adds in diffrents platforms such as facebook,youtube,instagram . Nearly, 70 percent people use this platforms.

It is a positive development in all over the world becuase mostly people can buy different products online such as clothes,electic products,machines etc.49 million people use instagram and at least , 40 percent people buy online product. Online shooping is very useful thing for new generation becuase in old time people going tho market and bought different useful products but now those days are gone shopkippers get pictures and upload on social media and advertise your products.

Firstly,advertisment saves your time for example you want to buy clothes you open your mobilephone and search this product on social media and oder your favourite product and inn 3 or 4 business days you receive your oder.

I think that it is very benefical for us becuase everybody can buy you favourtie things online .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a clear opinion that the trend is positive and offer a relevant benefit: online advertising can make shopping more convenient and save time. The example of searching for clothes on a phone and receiving an order a few days later helps illustrate this point. However, the response addresses the question only minimally: it does not explain why businesses emphasise that products are new, and the positive/negative discussion is brief and repetitive. The claims about social-media users and online purchases are not explained or connected clearly to the question. The response is also 55 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop both parts. Explain businesses’ motives, such as attracting attention or competing with other brands, and support your view with fuller examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is some basic organisation: you state your view in the introduction, present points about online shopping, and use paragraph breaks to separate ideas. Connectors such as “First of all” and “Firstly” also signal that another point is coming. However, the ideas are not arranged into a clear progression, and the discussion moves from advertising on social media to online shopping without explaining the relationship. The two time-saving points overlap, while the final sentence repeats the positive opinion rather than concluding the argument. Some references, such as “this platforms” and “your products,” make it unclear whose products or platforms you mean. Organise the essay around the two task questions, use clear topic sentences, and link each example directly to its main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a basic range of vocabulary related to advertising and shopping, including “social media,” “products,” “online,” and “business days,” so the general topic is usually recognisable. There are also attempts to use more specific expressions, such as “advertise your products” and “online shopping.” However, vocabulary is repetitive and several word choices or spellings make the meaning less clear, including “fresh in few time,” “fastly,” “adds,” and “shopkippers.” Some phrases are unnatural, for example “buy you favourtie things online.” Build a more accurate range for discussing the task itself, including terms for product launches and attracting customers. Check spelling and collocations, and avoid repeating “products” and “online” when a precise alternative is available.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You mainly use short, simple sentences, and the reader can understand the central opinion and the shopping example. You also attempt to connect ideas with “because” and “for example,” showing some effort to form longer sentences. However, grammatical control is inconsistent: “businesses … emphasises” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “Nearly, 70 percent people use this platforms” has problems with articles, number, and sentence construction. Other examples include “people going tho market and bought” and “you want to buy clothes you open your mobilephone,” where verb forms or sentence boundaries are faulty. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “because,” “when,” and “which.”

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