Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many parts of the world ads services in business are quickly gaining popularity .Although some people might consider it negative , I believe it to be significantly beneficial . Not only because it can enhance the sales and attract customers but also increases the profit .

there are multiple benefits of advertising of business Firstly, ads can considerable increase in the sales of a business as people know about the business information and result rise in sales. For instance Nike will invest 2 million dollar to increase their annual sales about 30 % in 2028 .Thus advertising in business is fruit full .

Secondly, marketing in business also play an important role because it attract the customers,as people buy what the see .Take an example of a survey conducted in Germany states that most of the customers buy things after watching their marketing .Thus ads play key role to attract the normal peoples .

Finally, marketing of business help to rise the profit of business because more people buy the things after watching the beautiful visuals of the product on the big TV screens .

To sum up , I believe that marketing of business is indeed a positive development .Not only because it enhance the sales ,attract people but also it increase the overall profit of business

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You state a clear view that advertising is beneficial and give relevant reasons: it can increase sales, attract customers and raise profits. However, the task asks specifically why businesses emphasise that their products are new, and your response discusses advertising in general rather than explaining the appeal of novelty, such as standing out from competitors or encouraging consumers to upgrade. The examples about Nike and a German survey are asserted but not explained or clearly connected to new products. The conclusion repeats your position without adding development. The response also falls 31 words short of the required minimum. To strengthen the answer, address both questions directly and develop each reason with a specific explanation and relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Your response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, three body paragraphs signalled by “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Finally,” and a concluding paragraph. This makes the main points easy to identify. However, progression is limited because each paragraph repeats the general claim that advertising increases sales or attracts customers, rather than building a connected explanation of why businesses highlight novelty. Linking is also sometimes mechanical, with repeated “Thus” and “Not only because” constructions. Some connections between claims and examples are unclear, particularly the Nike statistic and the survey reference. Organise the body around distinct reasons for promoting newness, then explain how each example supports its paragraph’s main idea. More precise referencing and varied transitions would make the argument flow more naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a basic range of topic-related vocabulary, including “advertising,” “customers,” “sales,” “profit,” and “marketing,” so the general subject is understandable. However, the same terms recur frequently, and several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “ads services in business,” “business information,” and “normal peoples.” There are also word-form and spelling problems, including “fruit full” and “considerable increase,” which reduce accuracy. Try using more precise language for the task’s focus, such as “product launches,” “new features,” “differentiate a product,” and “consumer interest.” Check collocations and word forms when editing, and avoid repeating “business” and “marketing” where a more specific noun or pronoun would be clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and more complex forms, including “because” clauses and the “Not only…but also” construction. The main ideas can generally be followed, but control is uneven. For example, “Not only because it can enhance the sales … but also increases the profit” is an incomplete and unbalanced construction; “marketing in business also play” has subject–verb disagreement; and “it attract the customers” also needs agreement. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are inconsistent, as seen in the opening, where a space is missing after the full stop before “Although.” Most sentences rely on straightforward patterns, and the attempted complex structures are not consistently accurate. Practise complete, balanced sentences and check subject–verb agreement, articles and punctuation during revision.

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