Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, many companies highlight the new features of their products in advertisment to attract customers widely. This is mainly because businesses want to increase their sales and compete with other companies. In my opinion, this is largely a negative development because can encourage unnecessary spending, although it also some benefits.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why companies focus on advertising. Firstly, customers are often attracted to modern design and advance featurs. For example, mobile companies regularly promote new items such as improved camera, longer battery, high ram and rom and advance safety feature to persude people to buy their products. Secondly, businesse face strong competiton, so they need to advertise their prouducts looks different from their competitore. By presenting their goods and new innovations, companies can attract customers to increase ther sales and generate profit.

However, i belive this trend is mainly negative becuase it encourage people to spend money on such things they do not really need it. Many individuals replace their washing machines, smartphones, cloths and household items simply because a newer version is available, even there existing products are still working. As a result, they may waste money and create unnecessary waste, which are harmful for environment. For example, thousands of household appliances are waste every year and produce carbon emisson, which may create disease for individuals such as asthama, skin infection and burnout.

In conclusion, although, businesses advertisie new feature of their products and increase sales. But i belive that this a negative development because it encourages unnecessary spending and harful for environment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both parts of the prompt: you explain that businesses promote new features to attract customers, increase sales and compete, and you clearly judge the trend as mainly negative. The examples of smartphone features and people replacing appliances help make the reasons relevant. Your position is also maintained in the conclusion. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the link between discarded appliances, carbon emissions and the listed health problems is unclear, and the benefits mentioned in the introduction are not developed as a counterpoint. To strengthen the response, explain the consequences more precisely and extend each main idea with a clear example or reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph explaining businesses’ motives, a paragraph presenting your criticism, and a conclusion. The progression from reasons to your evaluation is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. This gives the essay a coherent framework. Some connections are less smooth or precise, however. The opening of the final paragraph uses “although” and “But” together, making the relationship between its ideas awkward, while the health effects in the negative paragraph appear without a clear link to the preceding point. Use transitions more selectively and make sure each sentence clearly develops or supports the one before it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “compete,” “innovations,” “unnecessary spending,” and “generate profit,” and the reader can generally understand your meaning. There are also attempts to use more specific terms, such as “battery” and “carbon emission.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate word forms are noticeable throughout, including “advertisment,” “featurs,” “competiton,” and “emisson.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “high ram and rom” and “advertise their products looks different.” These issues limit precision and sometimes make the reader pause. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations as complete phrases, for example, “promote new features” and “differentiate their products from competitors.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause beginning “although” and a conditional structure with “because.” This shows some range, and the main message remains understandable. However, errors in sentence construction, agreement and verb forms occur in several places. For example, “because can encourage” lacks a subject, “it also some benefits” is missing a verb, and “it encourage people” does not agree in number. The conclusion’s “although” followed by “But” also creates an incomplete, awkward structure. Work on building complete clauses and checking subject–verb agreement, articles and pronoun references. More accurate control of these patterns would make your ideas easier to follow.

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