Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Main topic is we tell the business emphasise that their products are new in some way.

First we dicuss the business that are to much increased in our society because some of the people in our countries are unemployed they have no specific job to do and earn a money so people start diffrent business and everone has a opinion that their business are very excellent as compared to other people. He thought that tha products of their shop is so good as compared to others although evne his products are not so good but he consider that he tooks the best products in his shop .the business man say such a thing that their products are so good and suitable as compared to others because in the worls every person wants to earn more money so although his products are not good and suitable for others he becomes so selfish to earn more money he consider his wrong products suitable. This happens because mostly countries have an unployed person but when they start their business first they have no idea to run tnhri business succesfully so he buy not good produxcts but he sells them tot the people.

Yes my opinion is that its a very negative development for all those peoples who want to run their own business but when they saw such a business man who use these cheap products and they consider that they have kept a very good products in their market the peple consider that this business is not so good.

Example related to this is the business and we can do any business but in a very appropriate way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify a negative view, saying the development is “very negative,” and you attempt to explain why businesses promote products as good: they want to “earn more money.” However, the response only minimally addresses the question. The explanation focuses largely on unemployment and inexperienced people starting businesses, rather than clearly explaining why companies emphasise that products are new. The negative impact is also asserted but not convincingly explained; the example is vague and does not show a specific consequence for consumers or businesses. The final sentence, “we can do any business but in a very appropriate way,” does not develop the argument. To strengthen the response, explain the appeal of novelty in advertising and support your position with a clear, relevant example. (The required length is met; 9 words copied from the prompt were not counted.)

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: it begins with an introduction, develops an explanation, and then states an opinion and gives an example. Some links, such as “First” and “because,” show how you intend ideas to relate. However, the information is not arranged coherently overall. The long central section repeats that business owners consider their products good and want money, while moving between unemployment, product quality, and business experience without a clear progression. The example is not separated or explained, and references such as “he” and “their” make it difficult to follow who is being discussed. Use distinct paragraphs for the reasons and your evaluation, and make each paragraph develop one main point in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

You use basic vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “products,” “business,” “earn more money,” and “negative development,” so the general subject can be recognised. However, the vocabulary is repetitive and often imprecise, which strains the reader. “Good” and “suitable” recur without clarifying what qualities are meant, and “new in some way” is not explored with more specific language about innovation or advertising. There are also frequent spelling and word-form errors, including “dicuss,” “diffrent,” “unployed,” and “succesfully.” Aim to use a wider set of accurate topic words and check spelling carefully. More precise choices would help distinguish product quality, novelty, marketing claims, and consumer effects.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use subordinate clauses with “because” and “although,” showing an effort to connect ideas rather than relying only on short statements. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, and verb forms often make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “the products of their shop is” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “he tooks the best products” uses an incorrect verb form. Several sentences run together with unclear punctuation, especially the extended passage beginning “He thought that…”. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine related ideas with one clear clause at a time. Check agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries during revision.

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