Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

in my opinion, it is a positive development. As we know businesses has always launches many nwe products in their era. So their claim that their products are new is totally right. Many new products like kids shampoo,foundations from cosmetic business; electronic automated cars and motorbikes for children have increased the sailing prices of pakistan higher than past three to four years. businesses are always producing something new. They are regarded as the inventor of country.my experience of visiting a cosmetic factory was very useful and educational. The owners were of the view to prepare products relating to the skin which can solve the skin problems of people. This is a very positive approach. business departments thinking about nation's betterment is very beneficial for that nation.products related to man"s interest are also on high selling rate. This shows that men are working as equally on their personality as women. Men"s perfumes like Blue, Phonix are very famous in my country. Women are equally contributing and many factories are just making women products just to satisfy their needs. in previous ages, businesses like this were not very advanced and influential but now these are contributing in the country' economy. paper industries are earning much more by printing new model and high quality papers. textile industries are building new fabrics for the market. in our country, the clothing industries are famous among children, men and women. So their claim to be producing new and well developed products is correct and rectified.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear opinion—“it is a positive development”—and give examples from cosmetics, clothing, paper and textile businesses. The factory visit also provides a relevant personal example. However, the response only minimally answers the full question: it gives little explanation of why businesses emphasise novelty in advertising, and it does not clearly distinguish advertising claims from the actual development of new products. Several examples, such as men’s perfumes and paper industries, are listed without showing how they support your argument. The required minimum of 250 words is not met. To strengthen the response, explain businesses’ motives, such as attracting customers or standing out from competitors, and develop a clear reasoned judgement about the benefits or drawbacks.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a recognisable overall direction: you begin with your positive view and then provide examples of industries and products. Some linking expressions, including “So,” “This shows,” and “in previous ages,” help signal relationships between points. However, ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and the response moves abruptly from cosmetics to men’s products, women’s needs, and paper and textile industries. The central argument is difficult to follow because examples are accumulated rather than connected through a logical progression. References such as “this” and “these” are sometimes unclear. Organise the essay into an introduction, focused body paragraphs and a conclusion, with each paragraph developing one reason and using explicit links to show how its examples support your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “cosmetic factory,” “skin problems,” “textile industries,” and “country’s economy,” which helps communicate the general subject. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or awkward, sometimes making the intended meaning unclear. For example, “increased the sailing prices of pakistan” does not clearly express the effect you mean, while “inventor of country” and “high selling rate” are not natural collocations in this context. Spelling and word-form errors such as “nwe” and “rectified” also reduce precision. Build a more accurate range for discussing advertising and business, and check collocations and spelling. Prefer precise terms such as “sales,” “consumer demand,” and “market.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, and the reader can generally identify your main opinion and examples. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors in basic forms occur frequently. For instance, “businesses has always launches” has problems with subject–verb agreement and verb form; “the owners were of the view to prepare” uses an awkward grammatical pattern; and “business departments thinking” lacks a finite verb. Articles, plurals, possessives and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “the country' economy” and the run-on sequence “nation.products.” These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and complete sentence construction, then proofread for sentence boundaries and possessive forms.

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