Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays advertising become a backbone of every business. All businesses developing new ideas regarding to their products how to manage its sale in different ways.

I am hundered percent agree with it, it is a positive development. Our world discovers new things everyday in every field of life. One of it is advertisment its a main thing in every business. Most of people have not much time to go outside to buy things sometimes if people need things in emergency but there is no way to go outside due to some reasons but they know they also provides online service then people order ot online its all about advertisment. It make people life easier. It also plays a very important role in our society to give opportunties to needy people who are looking for some work or job but they have not enough knowledge to do job some companies need of riders for delivery purposes if people have have enough experience in drivering and also have lisence for driving they will get best opportunity to needy people. For example if we start a new business in our loacl area where compitetion is already high in local market but the main point is that noboday in the local market advertise their business locally and online. If we start advertising of our newly business locally and on social media platforms like on Instagram, Tiktok etc in addition with some trust base services like we provide online service which including free delivery over 50 km of radius with cash on delivery etc. I think we get more sales of our product as compared to others in market moreover most of chances have people visit our local market store personally.

In my opnion overall adversting a best way to enhance our business and its a postive way of development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear view that emphasising newness is positive, and you give a relevant example of a local business using social media, delivery and cash on delivery to attract customers. However, the response only partly answers the question: it does not clearly explain why businesses generally highlight that their products are new. Much of the discussion shifts to advertising’s wider benefits, such as making shopping easier and creating delivery jobs, rather than focusing on the appeal of product innovation. The example is also difficult to follow and its connection to products being new is not made explicit. To strengthen the response, explain specific reasons—such as attracting attention, differentiating products from competitors or suggesting improved quality—and support your positive judgement with a more directly relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a recognisable overall direction: you introduce advertising, give your opinion, develop examples and finish with a concluding view. The local-business example also provides some progression from competition to promotion and possible sales. However, ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and several different points run together in long sentences. For instance, the discussion moves from online shopping to emergency needs, then to job opportunities and local advertising without clear transitions or a distinct focus for each point. Linking phrases such as “moreover” and “in addition” are used, but they do not always clarify the relationship between ideas. Organise the response into an introduction, focused body paragraphs and a conclusion, with each paragraph developing one main reason.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “advertising,” “online service,” “competition,” “social media platforms” and “cash on delivery.” These terms help communicate the general subject and your example. However, the range is often basic or repetitive, and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. Phrases such as “trust base services,” “enhance our business” and “new ideas regarding to their products” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling errors, including “advertisment,” “opportunties” and “compitetion,” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise set of expressions for product innovation and marketing, and check spelling and common word partnerships when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with clauses, as in the example beginning “If we start a new business in our local area…”. This shows an effort to express connected ideas, but control is inconsistent and many sentences contain errors that make the reader work to understand them. Examples include “Nowadays advertising become,” “All businesses developing,” and “It make people life easier,” where verb forms or agreement are incorrect. Some sentences also lack clear boundaries or have incomplete structures, particularly the long passage about people needing to shop in an emergency. Practise accurate present-tense forms, subject–verb agreement, articles and sentence boundaries. Breaking long sentences into shorter, complete units will make your ideas clearer while you build more reliable complex structures.

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