Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In this competitive business world, competition has increase so that many business owner make varied advertise to attract their costumer due to this businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their product are best from another. This is because they want make their own market and they want that most costumers are buy their product. In my opinion, that is a positive development because it is not only increase individual wealth but also augment human lifestyle.
One of the most significant reason is that why businesses emphasise their product. They change their product according to the consumer needs. For instance, in India, numerous clothing brand invent different type of cloth in every occasion and people also want innovative product because they explore new fashions and variety of the cloths that why many companies make their advertisement more attractive than others one. secondly, their product become more popularities. Hence, costumer have numerous options.
Furthermore, it is give benefit to the business owner because it increase their wealth. To illustrate, in China, there organizations develop product designs and color so they attract more people. Moreover, it is give benefit to the customers they have good quality, convenient product and also business can motivate to produce better product. It can make businesses reputation best than others. Such as, mobile phone companies fast improve their mobile battery it leads to increase more and more both customer and sales.
In conclusion, although it make some negative effect no people they by unnecessary product, it also have positive development for the businesses and consumers. I believe that in the future more organizations increase their product quality and more customer want new varied of product.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You address both questions: you explain that businesses highlight novelty to attract customers and build a market, and you clearly regard this as positive overall. Relevant examples, including clothing brands responding to fashion trends and phone companies improving batteries, help support your position. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that novelty “augment[s] human lifestyle” is broad, and the discussion of customer benefits would be stronger if it explained how new features improve daily life or product quality. The brief acknowledgement of unnecessary purchases in the conclusion is not developed. To strengthen the response, explain the causes and consequences more precisely and balance the positive view with a clearer account of the possible drawback.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the main ideas generally follow a sensible order. Linking expressions such as “For instance,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help signal examples and stages in the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several points are joined without clear relationships. In the second body paragraph, business wealth, customer benefits, reputation and phone batteries appear in quick succession. Some connections are also mechanical or unclear, as in “Hence, costumer have numerous options.” Use topic sentences to establish each paragraph’s focus, then explain one idea at a time and make references between sentences explicit.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “consumer needs,” “innovative product,” “variety,” “quality” and “reputation.” These choices show an effort to discuss advertising and product development beyond very basic terms. However, inaccurate word forms and collocations are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less natural, as in “make varied advertise,” “more popularities,” and “new varied of product.” Repetition of “product,” “business” and “benefit” also limits flexibility. Aim to learn common word partnerships and check whether a noun, verb or adjective is needed in each phrase. More precise expressions such as “promote product innovations” and “gain a competitive advantage” would make the argument clearer and more idiomatic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You use both simple statements and attempts at longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “so that” and “although.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “competition has increase” and “it increase their wealth” need correctly formed verbs, while “they want make” is missing a grammatical element. The sentence beginning “although it make some negative effect” is also difficult to follow because its clauses are not clearly constructed. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, and build complex sentences around one clear main clause.
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