Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A contentious issue in modern society is advertisement, new strategies such as emphasise that their product is improved. Although, these kind of things have merits but I believe it to be a negative development.

In my opinion, these kind of strategies are just to attract customers. There are a lot of products which are being launched every year by just changing the cover. There is no such improvement. For instance, head and shoulders shampoo new add claims that it is much improved against dandruff with advanced formula. But when it was compared with the old version results were completely same. Similarly, when we look upon apple products there is no such change in software. They just change the camera positions and launched a new mobile to attract new customers.

These strategies cast negative impact in the society. As, people try to purchase these new products which were usually expensive then the new one's but the results were nothing. For instance, iphone prices are very high today when we compare it with 3 years ago prices. Despite the increased prices people around the globe are still very interesting to buy new ones. when we look upon the features it's almost same as 3 year old model. Young people even tries to sale their organs in order to purchase one.

In conclusion, although these kind of advertisements and claims that our product is new helps company financially but it has a negative impact in society.People learns to play games with other people to earn profit which is not a good paractice.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your response addresses both parts of the question: you explain that businesses highlight novelty to attract customers, and you clearly judge this as a negative development. The shampoo and phone examples support your concern that some changes may be cosmetic, while the discussion of high prices develops the social consequences. This meets the task well, and the position is clear. To make the response more fully developed, explain more precisely why businesses rely on novelty—for example, competition, repeat purchases, or creating a perception of better value. Some claims, particularly that phone software has not changed and that young people sell organs to buy phones, are broad or insufficiently explained. More careful qualification and explanation would strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present reasons and examples, and a conclusion restates your position. The progression from attracting customers to the financial and social effects is understandable. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “Similarly” introduces the phone example, but the relationship between it and the shampoo example could be explained more explicitly. “As” at the start of “As, people try to purchase…” creates an incomplete connection, and “Although” in the introduction is not followed by a contrasting clause. Use linking expressions only when their logical relationship is clear, and make references such as “these kind of strategies” more precise. This would make the flow smoother and cohesion less noticeable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “attract customers,” “advanced formula,” “increased prices,” and “negative impact.” These choices make your main points understandable, and you attempt some less common expressions such as “contentious issue.” However, several word-choice and collocation errors reduce precision: “new strategies such as emphasise,” “new add claims,” “look upon,” and “very interesting to buy” do not sound natural in context. There are also spelling and word-form problems, including “paractice” and “sale” where a different form is needed. Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than more elaborate wording, and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and more complex forms, including “Although… but I believe…” and the conditional comparison “when we compare it with 3 years ago prices.” The overall meaning is generally recoverable, but control is uneven: complex constructions are often faulty, and errors occur in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries. Examples include “these kind of things,” “people… are still,” and the run-on conclusion “society.People.” The opening sentence also lacks a complete grammatical structure. Practise building accurate clauses first, then combine them with conjunctions such as “although” without adding “but.” Careful proofreading for capitalization and punctuation would also improve readability.

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