Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In this competitive world of modern technology, businesses are trying to bring something new everyday to earn more profit. Some may argue that it is a negative development, I believe that it is rather a positive sign.

First of all, in recent time, the world has turned into a global village. So it is irrefutable that businesses need to bring forward more genuine ideas and inventions to attract more customers. Busineeses try to achieve that by producing new products and services continuously so that they can surpass their rivals. This creates a healthy compitition because every business is trying to meet the cusumers demand. As a result people are being benefited because there are a wide range of variety to choose from. Consumers have more choices than ever. For instance, if someone wants to buy a face wash there are so many types to choose from.

Secondly, if businesses do not compete or try to bring new products then people will be left with only a few choices. What may suit one may not be appropriate for another person. Without much choice people will be forced to buy a product that may not fulfill their needs. Consequently, there will be monopoly in the market where only few companies are dominating. In this situation the price of particular items are often high. At the same time, if businesses do not bring new products or ideas then people may get bore with the typical products.

Many argue that the competition of inventing new items could have detrimental effect on society. People drain their savings to buy new products even though they do not need it. For example, whenever a new version of iphone comes to the market people run to buy them even though they already have a working phone. However, this consumer behaviour should be controlled but it should not be the reason to stop producing new products.

In conclusion, modern economy demands businesses to come up with new ideas to fulfill consumer's needs and stay in the competition. This positive development boosts the economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your response addresses both questions and maintains a clear positive position, while acknowledging the concern that consumers may spend unnecessarily. The reasons are relevant: innovation can increase choice and competition, whereas a lack of it may leave consumers with fewer options and allow monopolies. The face-wash and iPhone examples help make these points concrete. To strengthen the response further, develop the explanation of why businesses emphasise novelty in advertising itself—for example, how presenting a product as new attracts attention or differentiates it from competitors. Some claims, such as innovation boosting the economy, are asserted rather than explained, and the point about people becoming bored is less fully supported than your discussion of choice and consumer spending.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: an introduction states your view, the body paragraphs present benefits and a counterargument, and the conclusion restates your position. Paragraphing is appropriate, and signposts such as “First of all,” “Secondly,” “However,” and “In conclusion” make the structure easy to follow. The examples are generally placed beside the points they support. At times, however, the links between ideas feel somewhat mechanical, and the second paragraph moves from limited choice to monopoly and then boredom without fully showing how each point connects. Use more varied transitions and make the relationship between claims explicit. Clearer referencing would also help, particularly when moving from the general discussion of competition to its effects on consumers.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “global village,” “surpass their rivals,” “monopoly,” and “detrimental effect.” These choices allow you to discuss competition, consumer choice, and possible harms. However, some spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “Busineeses,” “compitition,” “cusumers,” and “get bore.” There are also awkward or imprecise phrases such as “a wide range of variety” and “the competition of inventing new items.” Aim for accurate collocations and avoid repeating broad terms such as “new products” and “businesses” when more specific wording is available. These issues do not prevent understanding, but more consistent control would make the argument sound more natural and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if businesses do not compete” and a concession introduced by “even though.” Most ideas remain clear, but some grammatical errors occur. For example, “Some may argue that it is a negative development, I believe…” joins two independent clauses with only a comma; use a full stop or a linking word. In “there are a wide range,” the verb does not agree with the subject, and “the price of particular items are often high” has a similar agreement problem. Articles and plural forms also need attention in phrases such as “only few companies” and “a detrimental effect.” Check sentence boundaries and agreement when editing.

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