Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The advertising businesses immedatetly days usually more items or new and modify it is a positive development in country ,I completly agree with this statement because this is enhace to community .

Overall it is clear that about information at this movement runs diffierent businesses in world to make diffierent items and lovely modify , It is exiceptional effecet to individuals ,and helping to achiving goals in life and make more opportunities in other levels and emploments.

In addition, The business runing in all world to give them better and good feadbacks to learner ,since this strategy is growing economy in every country to easily facilitate the individuals in socitey, morever they assist in different fields, To illustrate one leaner to lean about business to produced capacity of success , and take more opportunities to feel them gland.

On the orther hand our community saves the unemployment and to facilitate the family and relative ,One person to moving progress and with attached to other person like this apply in country the economy rate is similarly to growing,To illustrate in my socitey one man to learn about business and working hard to try diffierent time in evently to success on this family is extremly excited and blessed,however they help with other and teach to advertising business and secondly individuals group to run fastly increasing and the to achives success and exihibted more ways to occasion.

To conclusion that the avertising business is extremely crurical in daily life becase everyone to get goals and facilitate in community ot is so better the peope life they feel and devote happy life .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a positive position in the opening, saying that the development “enhance[s]” the community, and you attempt to discuss benefits such as employment and economic growth. However, the response only minimally addresses the actual questions. It does not explain clearly why businesses emphasise that products are new, and most of the discussion shifts to business generally, education, and personal success rather than advertising or product innovation. The examples, including “one man” succeeding in business, are difficult to connect to the prompt and are not developed with clear supporting details. To strengthen the response, explain specific reasons for highlighting novelty—such as attracting attention or differentiating a product—and then evaluate the benefits or drawbacks with relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has an opening, several body paragraphs, and a conclusion, and you use signposts such as “In addition,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclusion.” These show an attempt to organise the answer. However, ideas are not arranged coherently: the paragraphs move between advertising, learners, employment, family life, and economic growth without a clear line of development. The contrast introduced by “On the other hand” is not clearly established, since the paragraph continues listing benefits. Connections between sentences are often unclear, and repeated references to “business” and “community” do not make the relationships between ideas explicit. Plan one paragraph around why businesses promote novelty and another around your evaluation, using clear topic sentences and linking each example directly to its main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary related to the topic, including “advertising,” “economy,” “opportunities,” and “unemployment,” and you try to express ideas about business and social effects. However, the range is basic and often repetitive, while inaccurate word choice and spelling frequently make meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “lovely modify,” “good feadbacks,” “feel them gland,” and “exihibted more ways to occasion.” Some expressions appear to be direct translations and do not form natural English collocations. Build a more precise set of phrases for this prompt, such as “promote a new product,” “attract consumers,” and “gain a competitive advantage.” Check spelling and use a dictionary or example sentences to confirm how new vocabulary combines with other words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You make some attempts to connect clauses, for example with “because,” “since,” and “however,” and the response includes both short statements and longer sentences. However, sentence structures are very limited in control, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction are frequent enough to obscure meaning. For instance, “businesses … usually more items or new and modify it” lacks a clear verb structure, while “one person to moving progress” does not form a complete grammatical clause. Several long sentences also run together without clear punctuation, making it hard to identify the main idea. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using one clear subordinate clause at a time. Check that each sentence has a subject and a correctly formed verb.

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