Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary society, the advertisiement play a crucial role in promoting the business. Many big companies pay huge amount to advertisement in order to persuade the customer and to be no.1 in the market. In my opinion, it is negative development as it wastes money amd hurt the environment.

Firstly, companies emphasizes the products are new to attract attention in a busy market. Additionally, there are so many brands selling the same, different or even better product in the market. The companies try to change the colour and size of the product as new in order to attract the people to buy the product. "Human are tend to attract new thing ". They play with these pyschology of humans. For example, the Apple iphone 17 where we see people are standing in a queue to by the smart phone. However in reality the company only change the colour of the iphone 17. The advertisements make people feel they needed the newest to stay modern.

on the other hand, the trend is neagtive for to maim resons firstly it encourages the people to buy the thing which is not needed, which wastes money. Whem ads constanly say that older items are out of date. Second the habit harms our palnet. Making new product uses up natural resources and throwing away old electronics creates a huge amount of trash that pollutes the earth.

In conclusion, business say products are new to beat their competitors and attracts shoppers. While this helps companies make money. it is neagtive trend because it leads wasteful spending and causes serious pollution.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You address both parts of the question: you explain that businesses highlight novelty to attract attention and compete, and you clearly judge this trend negatively. The example of the iPhone launch supports your point about consumers being drawn to small changes, while the discussion of unnecessary spending and electronic waste gives relevant reasons for your view. These ideas are extended enough to make your position clear throughout. However, the explanation of why novelty is emphasised could be more precise: the claim that companies change colour or size is broad, and the example would be stronger if you explained how advertising presents such changes as valuable. Developing that link would make the support more convincing and less generalised.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph explaining companies’ motives, a paragraph presenting disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression from attracting buyers to the consequences for consumers and the environment is generally easy to follow. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or unclear. “Firstly” and “Additionally” help organise the first body paragraph, but “on the other hand” does not clearly signal a contrast with the preceding point, and the transition into the conclusion is abrupt. Some references, such as “the trend” and “the thing,” are vague, while the long sentence beginning “Whem ads” is incomplete. Use clearer links between claims and examples, and ensure each paragraph develops one connected line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “attract attention,” “out of date,” “natural resources,” and “pollutes the earth.” These choices communicate the main ideas, but the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems reduce precision. For example, “pay huge amount to advertisement” is not a natural collocation, and “new as” does not clearly express the idea of presenting a product as new. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “advertisiement,” “pyschology,” and “neagtive.” Aim to use more precise topic language and check spelling carefully; this would make the argument clearer and more fluent without changing its basic meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause in “as it wastes money” and a relative clause in “which wastes money.” However, control is uneven, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries occur throughout. Examples include “the advertisiement play,” “companies emphasizes,” and “the advertisements make people feel they needed”; these should have consistent subject–verb agreement and tense. The sentence “Whem ads constanly say that older items are out of date” is a fragment because it has no main clause, while “While this helps companies make money. it is…” is incorrectly punctuated. Practise checking each sentence for a complete main clause and consistent verb forms, while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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