Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Advertising it is a method that you share your product in any place, stores, social media, public transport and try to convienced them by good design and buy money for famous spensors to ensure for the consumers that it is a good product. I completely agree that is a negative idea.

Firstly, it is a bad behavior that you presente just a benefits of your products or close the comments in social media, so that ensure that nobody can critics your goods are give their experience. The reason behind this is to increase your input at the first period of production. In addition avoiding of rumors that my appear about your product, so all this fears leads to some tricky, that the goveronment should be strict and sensorces.

Secondly, there are a lot of negatives impacts about this way of cheating, such as those have allergic ahead your food, for example, cheaps, soft drink, candy so the result of that, increasing of diseases or even plague. Furthermore, those had online stores and they share picture from google to look more attractive, so the consequence, the costumer send their demand and money into ccp, and after when they open the box they wandred for the product.

Finally, the reason behind this illegal behavior is earn money as fast as possible without taken a carre about costumer health or rpution. And i hope that athorities enhance their kind to caught anyone resposible of this page and band name.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear negative view in the opening, and the response includes relevant concerns about misleading promotion, product safety and online shopping. However, the task asks why businesses emphasise that products are new, and this central question is only touched on through the brief point about increasing income early in production. The discussion then shifts to censorship, allergies and fake online-store images, without clearly explaining how novelty is used to attract customers or giving a developed example. The conclusion repeats a concern about profit rather than bringing the reasons and your judgement together. The response is also four words below the required minimum. Develop both the reason for this advertising strategy and your evaluation with specific, clearly explained support.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, three body paragraphs and a concluding paragraph, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Secondly” and “Finally” help identify the stages of your argument. This gives the reader some organisation. However, there is no consistent progression from the question about novelty to the examples: the first body paragraph discusses comments and censorship, while the next moves to allergies and misleading online images. Several links are unclear, as in “In addition avoiding of rumors,” and the final paragraph introduces “illegal behavior” without establishing that all the practices described are illegal. Use each paragraph to develop one main point, connect examples explicitly to novelty in advertising, and make references such as “those” and “this” unambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to advertising and consumer issues, including “social media,” “allergic,” “diseases,” “authorities” and “responsible.” These choices show an effort to discuss the topic beyond very basic terms. However, frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word choices make parts difficult to understand, for example “convienced,” “spensors,” “cheaps,” “costumer” and “band name.” Some phrases are also unnatural or unclear, such as “increase your input at the first period of production” and “caught anyone responsible of this page.” Build accuracy with common topic collocations before reaching for more complex wording: for instance, explain that businesses highlight new features to attract consumers and increase sales. Proofread spelling and check word forms and meanings.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use some sentence variety, including a reason clause in “The reason behind this is to increase…” and a result structure beginning “so the consequence…”. Paragraphs also contain attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences. However, many sentences are incomplete or have faulty clause structure, which sometimes obscures the meaning. For example, “In addition avoiding of rumors…” is a fragment, and “so the result of that, increasing of diseases” does not form a complete sentence. There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement and verb forms, as in “a lot of negatives impacts” and “without taken.” Practise writing complete subject–verb sentences, then join them with accurate subordinate clauses. Check each sentence for a clear subject, finite verb and logical punctuation.

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