Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Advertising companies in these days pretended that their products are totally changed and have some extra ordinary qualities than others .In my opinion it is a negative development.

Overall, when marketing companies adevertises their products they never talk about its harms.they just tells the benifits of their things.For instanse cosmetics prepares with chemicals and acid which are harmfull for our skin.On the other way it damege our skin which may causes a skin cancer.The purpose of selling their substances is just bring them into money.they never think about individuals they are simply running their bussiness on a large scale.Manufacturing companies and advertising companies both are responsible for any type of damages of public.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear view—“it is a negative development”—and give a relevant concern about companies highlighting benefits while ignoring possible harms. The cosmetics example and the claim that businesses prioritise profit provide a starting point for support. However, the response addresses the question only minimally: it does not explain why businesses emphasise novelty, and the negative judgement is not developed with a clear chain of reasoning or specific evidence. The discussion also makes broad claims, such as cosmetics causing skin cancer, without qualification or support. The response is 137 words below the required minimum, leaving too little space to explain both parts of the prompt. Develop the reasons for novelty-focused advertising and support your opinion with a specific, carefully explained example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening gives your opinion, followed by a paragraph about possible harms and companies’ motives. The ideas are broadly related to the topic, and “For instance” signals an example. However, the response has little overall progression: it moves from cosmetics to skin damage, profit, and responsibility without explaining how these points connect or building a developed argument. Linking phrases such as “On the other way” are inaccurate, and “Overall” does not clearly introduce the paragraph’s main point. Use separate paragraphs for why businesses promote newness and whether this is positive or negative, then connect each claim to an explanation or example. Clearer referencing and more purposeful transitions would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “advertising,” “products,” “benefits,” “chemicals,” and “manufacturing companies,” so the main subject is generally understandable. There are also attempts at more specific expressions such as “extra ordinary qualities” and “running their business on a large scale.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less clear, including “adevertises,” “benifits,” “harmfull,” and “damege.” Some phrases are unnatural or imprecise: “bring them into money” does not express the intended idea naturally, and “their substances” is unclear. Build a more accurate set of phrases for discussing marketing, such as “promote product innovations” and “increase sales,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You communicate a basic opinion and attempt to form longer sentences, for example, “The purpose of selling their substances is just bring them into money.” However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur frequently enough to make some ideas difficult to read. Examples include “companies … pretended” and “they just tells,” where the verb forms do not fit the subject or intended meaning, and “cosmetics prepares with chemicals,” which has an incorrect passive construction. The sentence beginning “On the other way” also contains several grammatical problems that obscure the relationship between the ideas. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using controlled clauses, for example: “Companies emphasise new features because they want consumers to choose their products.”

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