Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the contemporary era, the enterprises generally leveraging advertisments to manifest their goods are new in certain way, because to increase their sales and profit. I believe it is a negative development because it encourges individuals to buy unnecessarily goods.

To begin with, nowadays it is undeniable that companies using adverts to illustrate their products have new features. The primary reason is that to increase the sales of a product and higher thier business profits. For instance, Apple releases a mobile every year with just minimal variations in the features with higher cost compared to older version and promote to increase the sales of product, which ultimately lead to the profits for firm.

On the other hand, I think the businesses promoting the products are new in some way is a negativw impact for the society. This mainly because it encourages the people to buy the products unwantedly even though they are statisfied with porducts they use. For example, people using the pervious version mobile are attracted to the specifications of new product and tend to buy the product, which directly result to spend money on the product that doesn't needed to them at particular time.

In conclusion, while the business emphasize advertismetns to paint the product has is helping them to higher theor profits, but I argue that it is a negative development towards society because Individuals buy products unwantedly. Therefore, individuals should research before the buying the new products and firms should promote the product in balanced way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both parts of the question: you explain that businesses stress novelty to increase sales and profits, and you clearly judge this as negative because it can encourage unnecessary purchases. The Apple example supports the commercial motive, while the example of consumers replacing a phone they are satisfied with illustrates your concern. These relevant points meet the task well. However, the explanation of why novelty-focused advertising works is brief, and the social consequences are mostly limited to spending money unnecessarily. To strengthen the response, develop one or two consequences further—for example, the financial pressure on consumers or the waste created by replacing usable products—and explain how advertising creates that pressure. Your position is clear, but the supporting ideas are not yet consistently extended.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present the business motive and the negative effect, and the conclusion restates your position. The progression from companies’ aims to consumers’ behaviour is logical, and examples are placed in relevant paragraphs. However, linking is sometimes mechanical, particularly through repeated openings such as “To begin with” and “On the other hand,” and the conclusion’s “while…but” construction makes the relationship between ideas less clear. Some references, such as “the product” and “which,” could also be more precise about what they refer to. Use a wider range of natural transitions and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports to make the flow smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “sales,” “profits,” “features,” “specifications,” and “negative development,” and you attempt more formal expressions such as “contemporary era.” This gives you enough range to communicate the main ideas. However, inaccurate word choice, collocation, and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less natural: “leveraging advertisments to manifest their goods,” “buy unnecessarily goods,” and “promote the product in balanced way” are examples. There are also misspellings such as “encourges,” “negativw,” and “statisfied.” Aim for precise, natural combinations such as “highlight new features,” “encourage unnecessary purchases,” and “promote products responsibly.” Proofreading spelling and word forms would improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a reason clause with “because” and a relative clause in “people…are attracted to the specifications… and tend to buy the product.” The main message remains understandable, but grammatical control is uneven, and errors in sentence construction and agreement recur. For example, “The primary reason is that to increase the sales” is an incomplete construction; “which ultimately lead to the profits” has a subject–verb agreement problem; and “the product that doesn't needed to them” has faulty verb and clause structure. The conclusion’s “while…but” also creates an incomplete contrast pattern. Practise complete clauses, consistent verb forms, and agreement, then check each sentence for a clear subject and main verb.

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