Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Advertising of businesses in these days help people to products a new things and incouriging people to work on ther products and get improvment in a sale.

In my opinen, advertising a product is very benifical for every buisnesss becouse its help people to spred their idea in all over the world and people troust to buy and its going to famous in all over the world by our social media.

Positive impect of advertinsing is every social media user awear about you product and everyone want to buy if its usefull for him, now a days all mobile users have social media accounts and if we advertise our product on instagram, tiktok, facebook, youtube and or may be on whatsapp suatus and any other social media account our viewship going increas and its going famous and people want to buy in every moment.

For example, if i want to sale my mobile i click a photos and put it on my all social media accounts and write all features it have and write and good and bad things in details and my friend want to buy a phone he see my post on social media and buy it from me if its sutabel for him.

Negative impreshion of advertising is peolple have to use fake profiles and they dont have time to go out to explore a markit and they use to buy online and some give advantige from people and uplode a fake things on it and going down the trust lavel.

In a canclution, everyone want to uplode the product on social media and get a ad

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear general view that advertising is beneficial, and you include a relevant example about selling a phone through social media. You also mention a possible drawback: fake profiles and misleading online listings. However, the response only partially answers the question. It does not explain clearly why businesses emphasise that products are new, and the positive discussion focuses mainly on advertising’s reach rather than the appeal of novelty. The negative point is brief and not connected to the specific trend in the prompt. The conclusion, “everyone want to uplode the product on social media and get a ad,” does not clearly restate your position. Develop reasons directly related to newness and support both sides more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an opening, positive points, an example, a negative point and a conclusion. The phone-selling example is placed after the discussion of social media, so the reader can see its connection. However, progression is difficult to follow because several ideas are crowded into long sentences, and links between them are often unclear. For instance, the opening moves from advertising to “people to products a new things” and then to improving sales without explaining the relationships. The contrast introduced by “Negative impression” is useful, but the paragraph does not develop a clear sequence of cause and effect. Use one main idea per paragraph, connect each example explicitly to the question, and write a complete, focused conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “advertising,” “social media,” “features,” “fake profiles” and “trust level,” and the example shows an attempt to describe how online promotion works. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word choices that make parts of the response difficult to understand. Phrases such as “get a ad,” “viewship going increas” and “going down the trust lavel” are not natural or precise. Several expressions also do not convey the intended meaning clearly, such as “people to products a new things.” Build a more accurate set of topic vocabulary for novelty and marketing, such as “launch,” “innovative features” and “attract consumers,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to use both simple statements and longer sentences with clauses, including “if we advertise our product…” and the example beginning “if i want to sale my mobile…”. However, grammatical control is very limited, and frequent errors sometimes distort meaning. Examples include “advertising … help,” “everyone want,” and “my friend … he see,” where subject–verb agreement is missing. Verb forms and sentence construction are also problematic in “people to products a new things” and “people have to use fake profiles and they dont have time to go out to explore a markit.” Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, and several sentences run together. Practise accurate simple sentence patterns first, then add subordinate clauses while checking agreement, articles and verb forms.

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