Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In modern times, people are doing online business with the help of advertising on social media they launch their product on tiktok such as instagram with the help of advertising. When citizen starting a business no one know about it how it will a product and it is beneficial product or not that's why people lauch it on social media. I think it is a positive impact to grow up the business. This essay will discuss the primary reasons why it is happening.

One key factor is that, in today's society most of people they start a business and no one known about it and it is not value in marketing so when they launch it on social media with the help of advertising so it become a popular and day by day it is growing. For instance, my relative start a business online and there were not customer even a single customer did not like the page when they go to advertising and they launch their product on social and it quality was also beneficial so there were a crowd of customer so it is happening in most case when people start their business.

On the other hand, it is a positive development however, most of people they are busy currently on their studies and job and they do not have a time to go market to buy somethng so most of people they choose online platform during a busy schedule. They can find out it easily on social media everything with the help of best reviews.

In conclusion, people are doing advertising on social media with the help of tiktok adds so according to my perspective it is a positive impact to lauch the best quality product and start a new business.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear overall view that advertising new products is positive, and you give a relevant example involving your relative’s online business. However, the response only partly answers the question: it focuses mainly on advertising through social media and why small businesses use it, rather than explaining why businesses emphasise that their products are new. The point about busy people shopping online is relevant to online advertising, but it does not directly explain the appeal of highlighting novelty or assess its effects. Your position is present, but the reasons are brief and sometimes unclear. To strengthen the response, explain how presenting a product as new attracts attention or distinguishes it from competitors, then develop both the benefits and any possible drawbacks before reaching your judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the reader can identify your general position. You also use basic signposts such as “For instance,” “On the other hand” and “In conclusion.” However, the progression is difficult to follow because several ideas are joined into long, repetitive sentences, especially in the first body paragraph. “On the other hand” suggests a contrast, but the paragraph continues to support the positive view rather than presenting an opposing point. References such as “it” and “this” are sometimes unclear. Organise each paragraph around one distinct reason, use shorter sentences to show how the example supports that reason, and choose linking phrases that accurately express the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use basic vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “advertising,” “product,” “business,” “customer” and “social media,” so the general subject is understandable. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “with the help of advertising” and “positive impact.” Some choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “it is not value in marketing,” “a crowd of customer” and “best reviews,” which make parts of the message harder to interpret. Spelling errors such as “lauch” and “somethng” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise set of expressions for the task, including language for novelty, attracting attention and standing out from competitors, and check collocations and spelling when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the overall meaning can usually be understood. There are also attempts to connect clauses with “when,” “so” and “because.” However, control is inconsistent, particularly in longer sentences, where clauses are joined without clear structure. Examples include “When citizen starting a business no one know about it” and “most of people they start a business.” These show problems with verb forms, subject–verb agreement, articles and sentence construction. Punctuation is also limited, making some sentences difficult to follow. Practise forming accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using one clear subordinate clause at a time. For example: “When a business is new, few people know about its products, so advertising can help it attract customers.”

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