Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, many businesses declare in the promotion that their products are new and better than others. Due to their unique features and quality of materials. I believe this ia positive development because they have advace technology inside and work faster than previous ones.

One of the main point of positive development is use of advance technology. Several companies around the world replacing old materails with new one. For example, Apple and Samsung using advance software and hardware in the smart phones,laptop and earbuds. Now these devices have multiple function compare to their old models. As a result, when people watched advertisment of these brands they get interested and ready to buy new products. Furthermore, individuals more interested because these devices are much better and faster than old one. The have advance functions and higher CPU that makes their efficency more accurate and faster.

One of the main negative point is cost high money. When companies make new tools which consists of advance materials and software therefore they sell it to higher amount then previous one. For instance, IPhone 18 has several advance and unique features from old models such as 15 and 16. Its camera gives higher resoulation videos and photo. As a result, the price of Iphone 18 is 2000 dollars, while others phone prices around 800 to 1000 dollars.

To sum up, large businesses advertising have positive impact on the customer because they mention that new products have advance function compare to olds one and they also works faster. As a results, higher number of people want to buy new prodcuts

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that highlighting new features is positive, and you support this with examples of smartphones and other devices. However, the task asks both why businesses emphasise novelty and whether this is positive or negative. The reasons for businesses’ advertising choices are only touched on indirectly: you explain that customers become interested and buy products, but do not clearly discuss motives such as competition, attracting attention, or encouraging upgrades. Your discussion of the negative side focuses on higher prices, yet the conclusion returns to the positive view without weighing this drawback or explaining why it does not change your judgement. Develop the business rationale and connect each example more explicitly to your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion. Examples generally follow the point they are intended to support, and phrases such as “For example” and “As a result” help signal relationships. However, progression is limited: the first body paragraph mainly repeats that new devices are faster and more advanced, while the second introduces cost as a negative point without clearly relating it to the overall positive position. Some linking is mechanical or unclear, particularly “One of the main point of positive development” and “One of the main negative point.” Use topic sentences that state the paragraph’s argument, then explain and evaluate the example before moving on.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “unique features,” “advertisement,” “camera,” and “higher resolution,” and the reader can generally understand your examples. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “advance,” “new,” “faster,” and “features.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, such as “materails,” “resoulation,” “efficency,” and “olds one.” Some combinations are unnatural, including “cost high money” and “sell it to higher amount.” These errors sometimes make the intended meaning less clear. Build a wider set of accurate expressions for advertising, consumer behaviour, product innovation and pricing, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a result clause beginning “As a result” and a relative clause in “higher CPU that makes their efficiency…”. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement and articles. For example, “Several companies around the world replacing” lacks a finite verb, while “Apple and Samsung using” also needs a verb such as “use.” The fragment “Due to their unique features…” is not a complete sentence, and “the price … is 2000 dollars” would be more naturally expressed with an appropriate article and price construction. Review complete sentence formation and subject–verb agreement, then practise combining ideas accurately rather than relying on fragments.

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