Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, the population of some states include large proportion of young adults, compared with the proportion of older people. Although there are certain drawbacks of this, I believe advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Admittedly, there are some drawbacks of lower number of elderly people. To begin with, country with lower proportion will face lack of experience amoung youth. Elderly people has more experience regarding the life and work, which they can use in the work field. For instance, retired accountant worked for 20 years can share his experience to young adult. However this drawback can be decreased by young adults learning and working in foreign country and getting experience from foreign people.

Despite these drawbacks, the benefits of young adult citizens are far more important. Firstly, young adult citizens can improve economy of the country. Young adults will be working in interantional companies which will result in better salaries of the employment. As a result young adult will pay high taxes which will improve the economy of a state. For instance, young adult working in Google organization will be able to pay high taxes because he will be getting higher salary from Google. Secondly, young adult can do odd jobs. Young adults are more healthier and tougher; they can do hard jobs which required high amount of energy. For instance, working in a construction field required huge amount of discipline and dedication because they have to work under the sun in hot days. Therefore young adult citizen provides more advantages.

In conclusion, while fewer number of older people can create certain problems like lack in experience, it can be reduced by working with foreign countries. I believe that the benefits of younger adults clearly outweigh the drawbacks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction and conclusion: you believe the advantages of a younger population outweigh the disadvantages. You address both sides, identifying reduced access to older people’s experience as a drawback and economic contribution and capacity for physically demanding work as benefits. These are relevant points, but they are not developed equally. The example of a retired accountant illustrates the value of experience, while the Google example mainly repeats the claim about high salaries and taxes rather than showing a broader economic effect. The point about young people gaining experience abroad also needs a clearer explanation of how this compensates for fewer older people at home. Develop each main idea with a more direct explanation and specific, convincing support.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on the drawback, a longer paragraph on advantages, and a conclusion. The progression from the opposing view to your preferred position is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Admittedly,” “Despite these drawbacks,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. This meets the lower-band expectations securely and shows some features of stronger organisation. However, links between claims and examples are sometimes mechanical, with repeated “For instance” and “As a result,” and the final sentence of the advantages paragraph largely restates the position rather than advancing the argument. Make the relationship between each claim, explanation, and example more explicit, and use referencing or varied transitions to avoid a formulaic sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “proportion,” “experience,” “economy,” “taxes,” and “construction.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “international companies” and “physically demanding” work, although the latter idea is expressed less naturally as “hard jobs.” At this level, meaning is generally understandable, but noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors reduce precision: “amoung,” “interantional,” “more healthier,” and “working in a construction field” are examples. Some wording is also repetitive, particularly “young adult” and “young adults.” Build a wider set of accurate collocations for population and economic topics, and check spelling and natural phrasing during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession clause (“Although there are certain drawbacks…”) and a conditional structure (“which they can use…”). Most sentences remain understandable, but some errors in agreement, articles, and verb forms are evident. For example, “the population … include” needs a singular verb, “Elderly people has” needs plural agreement, and “a retired accountant worked for 20 years can share” needs a clearer relative clause or finite verb structure. There are also article and number issues in phrases such as “country with lower proportion” and “young adult will pay high taxes.” To improve, check subject–verb agreement and article use, and practise building accurate complex sentences before adding further structural variety.

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