Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this argument, It is widely believe the population of young adults in some countries is more than the older people. In my openion, its true becuse in my country mostly old agers are passed away than youngs. I think the advantages and disadvantages of this situation is equal. So, first I describe both sides and then, I explain my own answer.

On the one hand, if young person is more than older people they are sevral benifits if the average of young is more than olders. The bigges possitive aspect is they play very importent role economy, For example, if a young person learn skill they built own business, many other people applying their for job. When they get job they fulfil their householde easily. But the old agers take more time for learning skills.

On the other hand, they have many negative aspects, if youngs are more than older people. Its biggest weekness is government do not provide education facelities and did not gives job. But if the old agers are more than young adults, government cannot provide better health facelities. Because of these reasons the economy level are falling down and the society will be destroed.

In conclusion, I believe the benifits of this situation is more than disadvantages. Its negative aspects is more harmful for country than pros. So, I agree on this statement.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address the topic by discussing possible benefits and drawbacks, and you give examples such as young people starting businesses and governments struggling to provide services. However, the response does not clearly answer the central question: the introduction says the advantages and disadvantages are equal, while the conclusion says benefits outweigh disadvantages and then calls the negative aspects more harmful. This contradiction makes your position difficult to identify. Several ideas are also under-developed; for example, the link between older people and health facilities is asserted but not explained. The response is 22 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop your reasons. State one consistent view and explain each main point with a clear cause, consequence, or relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs beginning “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This helps the reader see that you intend to compare both sides. However, progression within the paragraphs is not always clear: the discussion moves from young people’s skills and businesses to household needs without fully explaining the connections. Linking phrases such as “But” and “Because of these reasons” are used, but the relationships they signal are sometimes unclear. The conclusion also conflicts with the introduction, weakening the overall line of argument. To improve, organise each paragraph around one main claim, develop it in a logical sequence, and use references and transitions that make the links between ideas explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “economy,” “skills,” “government,” and “health facilities,” so the reader can generally understand the subject of your argument. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning less clear. Examples include “old agers,” “youngs,” “bigges possitive aspect,” and “the economy level are falling down.” Spelling errors such as “benifits,” “facelities,” and “destroed” are also noticeable. Aim to use standard expressions for age groups and more precise phrases for economic effects. Learning vocabulary in collocations—for example, “create employment” or “provide access to education”—will help your ideas sound clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer conditional or explanatory structures, such as “if a young person learn skill they built own business” and “Because of these reasons the economy level are falling down.” This shows an effort to connect ideas, but complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some relationships difficult to follow. Examples include subject–verb agreement (“the advantages and disadvantages … is”), verb forms (“government … did not gives”), and missing or incorrect articles and plurals (“if young person,” “more than older people”). Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent. Practise building accurate sentences with one clear subject and verb, then check agreement, tense, articles, and sentence boundaries before adding more complex clauses.

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