Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Over the recent few decades, all age groups play an equal role in the development of society. Therefore, in few nations, number of youngsters are grown than the populace of elderly people in recent years. This essay will intend to discuss the merits and demerits. The benefits of this trend are overlapping the drawbacks which I will discuss in the enumerated paragraphs.

To commence with, there are enormous pros of having more youngones than senior citizens. First and foremost is that they are more capable of doing work effectively and efficiently. To explain it, they have more will power to do work for more hours. As a result, it is beneficial for them as they can imrove their skills and they can improve their overall growth and personal development. Another benefit is that they know more about technical skills than old people which they can use in job areas. Thus, they will earn more which is helpful in achieving basic needs of living. Moreover, they also work for boosting economy of the nation. They can think out of the box as they provide better ideas than old age people.

On the other hand, high population of youngsters is not completely fruitful as it put detrimental effects on the life of individuals and society. Firstly, young people do not have experience of life which is needed when hurdles occur. They have good knowledge but experience is more importent to face hard situations with smile and resolve them. Secondly, people of similar age groups are not able to give more valuable ideas as they need emotional and physical support of senior citizens. Resultantly, it leads to overall improvement as they have someone with whom they can share everything.

In conclusion, although growing number of young masses are best for economy generation as they have more advanced skills, yet they lack of experience and emotional support which they can get from older people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the question by presenting advantages and disadvantages and stating that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. The points about young adults contributing to the economy and bringing technical skills are relevant, as is the counterpoint that older people offer experience and emotional support. However, the position is not fully developed: the introduction says the benefits are “overlapping the drawbacks,” while the conclusion gives only a brief summary, and the essay does not clearly explain why the economic benefits outweigh the social costs. Several claims, such as young people being more capable or providing better ideas, are broad and would benefit from specific explanation or an example. Develop the comparison between the two sides more explicitly and support key claims with concrete evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, a paragraph for each side, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First and foremost,” “Another benefit,” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the main direction. However, some linking is mechanical, and connections between ideas are not always clear. For example, “Resultantly, it leads to overall improvement” does not clearly identify what “it” refers to or how the point about older people’s support leads to improvement. The advantages paragraph also moves quickly from work capacity to personal development, technical skills, income, and the economy. Use clearer referencing and explain the relationship between each supporting point so the progression feels more connected.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “technical skills,” “detrimental effects,” “emotional support,” and “personal development.” These choices show an effort to discuss both economic and social consequences. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning less precise: “youngones,” “economy generation,” “will power to do work,” and “overlapping the drawbacks” are examples. There are also spelling errors such as “imrove” and “importent.” Aim for more natural combinations and check spelling carefully. For instance, describe young people as “contributing to economic growth” and say that benefits “outweigh” disadvantages rather than “overlap” them.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “as,” “which,” and “although.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the main ideas are generally understandable. However, errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction remain noticeable. Examples include “number of youngsters are grown,” “high population of youngsters … it put,” and “they lack of experience.” The opening sentence, “Over the recent few decades, all age groups play an equal role,” also shifts awkwardly between a time expression and the present tense. Review subject–verb agreement and article use, and practise building accurate complex sentences. More consistent control would make your reasoning easier to follow.

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