Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In todays modern time, the teenagers population is comparatively higher than the population of elderly people in few countries. From my perspective, I believe that both young adults and old people brings advantages and disadvantages and The advantages have equal proportion to diadvantages.

On the one hand, the main advantage of having numerous teenagers is economic growth. The companies and the industries have massive number of young adults which helps them to grow business by working hardly and develop new ideas with new generations. For instance, a company can complete a huge work fast with the help of new generations rather than elder people who works slowly. This leads to high work-flow and economic development. Another reason is to consider is that young people can work more than the old people. Teenagers have more strength and good health to work for industries and companies, whereas old people have health issues which stop them to work hard.

On the other hand, elder people plays a major role in the family as they provide better decisions from their experiance. Young adults have no idea about some decision which can be taken by older people. For example, adults get easily stressed and may broke down by some issues held in their lives. Older people give a good advice and motivation by which teenagers can came out stress or issue. This results in providing motivation and advice and reduce stress. In addition, older generations are required to maintain the family. Young adults may get frustrated faster and they may fight with their siblings. Older people can maintain their families by providing better relationship.

In conclusion, the teenagers bring advantages such as economic growth and hard work, while the older population is also benefical for the society such as making better decision and maintain the family. Therefore, I believe both have a balanced proportion.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the question by discussing benefits associated with a younger population and the value of older people, and your conclusion states that the two are balanced. However, the task asks whether the advantages of having more young adults outweigh the disadvantages; your response instead compares the contributions of young and old people and concludes that they are equal. This makes your position only partly clear in relation to the precise question. The points about economic growth and older people’s family guidance are relevant, but they are asserted rather than fully explained, and the examples remain general. To strengthen the response, identify the disadvantages of a youth-heavy population directly, then compare their significance with the advantages and support that judgement with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The signposting phrases “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the broad organisation. Within paragraphs, however, progression is sometimes mechanical, and ideas are repeated rather than developed: the first paragraph returns to young people’s strength and ability to work, while the second repeats the value of older people’s advice and family role. Some links between claims and outcomes are also unclear, as in “This results in providing motivation and advice and reduce stress.” Use fewer formulaic transitions and make each sentence build on the previous one, with clearer references and explanations of how each point answers the question.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “economic growth,” “industries,” “generations,” and “motivation,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are noticeably inaccurate, such as “teenagers population,” “working hardly,” “high work-flow,” and “better decisions from their experiance.” These choices sometimes make the argument less precise, even when the general idea is understandable. There are also spelling errors, including “diadvantages,” “experiance,” and “benefical.” Aim for more natural topic-specific phrasing and check word forms and spelling. For example, distinguish “young adults” from “teenagers,” since the task specifically concerns young adults, and use established collocations when describing employment and economic effects.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including contrasts with “whereas” and clauses beginning with “which,” so there is some variety in structure. However, errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction occur across the response. Examples include “both young adults and old people brings,” “elder people plays,” “who works slowly,” and “teenagers can came out stress.” Some sentences also have unclear or faulty construction, such as “Another reason is to consider is that young people can work more than the old people.” These errors can make parts of the argument difficult to follow. Work on subject–verb agreement and consistent verb forms, and revise complex sentences to ensure each clause has a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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