Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the contemporary era , this has long been a subject of discussion about the more population of youngsters rather than elderly people . I am totally agree that the advantages of this topic holding more water than disadvantages.

Commencing with the benefits, the first and foremost advantage which comes in my mind is related to a developed nation. As , we know a nation is known as developed nation only then whenever their country's population well - settled, employed and responsible. To elaborate it in more detail, as the proportion of juveniles is higher than older , it is the time when they accept their responsibilities , as they have no one's hand on their head , therefore , all the responsibilities will on their shoulders , they go outside to do job, along with this , the unemployment rate of country will decrease . Moreover, as person olds they become prey of several diseases such as cancer , memory loss and many more . Some of them are infactious diseases and some of them are untreatable. As the older people have less proportion then there is very minimum chance of getting new diseases . However , this makes a country known as a healthy country.

Apart from this , there are also a lot of disadvantages which are minimal but it may cause a big loss to companies and country. To clarify it , as people get old as well as they got experience and history is evidence that experienced persons can lead a better future of a nation . As in question this mentioned that advantages outweigh the disadvantages but there the disadvantages is single but it's causing a huge loss.

In conclusion , it is clear that it has both pros and cons but pros are more than cons and it helping to develop a nation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and you identify employment and national development as benefits. However, the response addresses the issue only partially because the main claims are not explained convincingly. For example, you suggest that a larger young population will reduce unemployment, but do not explain how enough jobs would be created or why this outcome follows. The point about fewer older people reducing disease is also unclear and does not establish a social advantage. You acknowledge that experienced older people can contribute to a country, but this disadvantage is left undeveloped and is not weighed against your benefits. Develop two relevant points with specific reasoning or examples, and make the comparison explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph acknowledging disadvantages, and a conclusion. This gives the reader some organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is not always clear, and several linking expressions feel mechanical or do not show the intended relationship. For instance, “Moreover” introduces the claim about older people and disease without clearly connecting it to the employment argument, while “However” does not establish a clear contrast. The disadvantages paragraph contains one main idea, but the final sentence repeats the task wording rather than developing the comparison. Use topic sentences to signal each point, then explain and support it in a logical sequence; use fewer, more precise transitions and clear references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “proportion,” “responsibilities,” “unemployment rate,” and “experienced persons.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “more population of youngsters,” “holding more water,” “got experience,” and “a healthy country” in the context of fewer older people. There are also spelling errors such as “infactious,” and “juveniles” is not a natural term for young adults in this discussion. Aim for precise, natural phrases such as “a larger share of young adults,” “outweigh the drawbacks,” and “an experienced workforce.” Check spelling and collocations when revising.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses linked with “as” and “therefore,” but complex structures are often faulty and errors occur frequently. For example, “I am totally agree” has an incorrect verb form, and “the unemployment rate of country will decrease” is missing an article and has an awkward grammatical construction. In “as they got experience,” the tense does not fit the general argument, while “it helping to develop a nation” lacks a finite verb. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, with spaces before commas and full stops. Practise building accurate sentences around one main clause, then add subordinate clauses carefully; check subject–verb agreement, articles, verb forms, and punctuation.

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