Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the recent years, there is an abundant increase in the world population. The porportion of population varies from one country to other.In some countries, relatively large population is considered as an advantage. One of the primary reason for treating it an advantage is that this huge population which predominantly consist of young adults, who contributes more for their respective nation in terms of economy, health and other prospects impacts the government positively.

Especially in a country like India, population is an alarming concern as it grows day by day. The economy here is a critical concern as we still face poverty, gender inequality, discrimination and other stuff across the country. However, the government tries its level best to control, yet its a pressing concern. The younger generations look forward to grow, outshine and seek opportunities to lead a successful life. Due to such underlying issues, it creates significant challenges to acheive their dream. On the other hand, the country's population not only depend on the young adults, there is an equal proportion of older people too.

In ancient times, due to lack of medical facilities, several diseases and disorders remained unidentified which impacted the lives of older people. They believed that every cause of death must be a factor of age. But today, we have invented tremendous technological advancements in medical field that helped millions of people to detect and diagnose the disease precisely and are given exact medications that saved oldage people. As a result, the population count witnessed a rise.

Hence, taking everything into consideration it is evident that numerous population can either be a country's friend or foe. It all depends on the way the government handles public demands and requirements to run a smooth economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response recognises the topic of a youthful population and offers relevant points about economic contribution, pressure on opportunities in India, and improved medical care for older people. However, it does not clearly answer the central question: whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The conclusion says population can be a “friend or foe” and depends on government management, leaving the writer’s own judgement unresolved. Several points also move away from the comparison in the prompt: poverty and inequality are listed without showing how a large share of young adults causes or worsens them, while the discussion of medical advances explains population growth rather than the disadvantages of an ageing population. State a clear position and develop directly relevant advantages and disadvantages with specific supporting examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, and transitions such as “However,” “On the other hand,” and “Hence” signal relationships between ideas. Nevertheless, the overall progression is difficult to follow because the essay shifts from young adults’ economic contribution to India’s social problems, then to historical medical care, without clearly connecting these points to the question of advantages versus disadvantages. The contrast introduced by “On the other hand” is not fully explained, and the final paragraph does not resolve the discussion. Build a clearer sequence: present the benefits, explain the costs, and then compare them in a conclusion. Use references that make the links between claims explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response shows some range beyond basic vocabulary, including “predominantly,” “underlying issues,” “significant challenges,” and “technological advancements.” These choices help communicate the general topic, although several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural and sometimes make the intended meaning less precise. For example, “abundant increase” is not a natural collocation, “other stuff” is too informal for an academic essay, and “oldage people” is not an appropriate term. There are also spelling errors such as “porportion” and “acheive.” Aim for more precise, consistently formal wording and check spelling and collocations. This would make the vocabulary more reliable while retaining the range already attempted.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay attempts both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning “as,” “which,” and “that,” and most of the main ideas remain understandable. However, errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction recur. For instance, “One of the primary reason” needs plural agreement, while “population which predominantly consist” has a subject–verb agreement problem. The opening “In the recent years, there is” also uses an awkward tense construction, and “which … who contributes” creates an unclear, incomplete structure. Punctuation and spacing are inconsistent, particularly where sentences run together. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and verb, correct agreement, and complete clause structure.

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